20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Twelve - Cleansing
Because we are quickly approaching a New Year, I wanted to discuss the ritual of cleansing this week as some of you, hopefully many of you, will choose to make use of this New Year and make some resolutions to improve your life in some way. Like most of us, we never have a year that is all good or positive, or all bad, or all negative. However, it would be great if we can begin this coming year with a clean slate, or at least the intent of one in an effort to focus on those things we would like to accomplish. This is where cleansing your space comes in… Cleansing is an important component to wellness because this is one of the best ways to purge the negative, or get rid of what no longer works for you, to invite the positive energy needed to begin better habits, prepare for new relationships and simply clear out the past to welcome your future. It is not only a symbolic way of demonstrating intent, it is a tried and true way of sweeping negativity from your home and welcoming only positive energy which you will need to begin your new year.
In previous posts, I discussed your sanctuary, and how important clearing the clutter was to allowing positive energy, or Chi, to flow freely and in your favor. This is even truer when it comes to cleansing. To define clutter, most people would assume clutter is defined by those tangible things that collect in our closets, on our shelves and under our beds. Although these are all sources of clutter, other forms of clutter can include thoughts and hurt feelings from failed relationships, self-doubt and insecurities, and the materials you bring into your home (i.e., music, movies, and other people). If you are not making an effort to de-clutter your life form these, performing a cleansing or series of cleansings may not be as successful as they could be otherwise.
Often times some people will claim that cleansing never work for them, but this is generally the problem; cleansing isn’t an act of magic that will automatically yield you the desired result. Cleansing, as other components to your wellness, all need to be worked on individually, so they can all work together on your behalf. The ritual of cleansing is important because it is an action toward eliminating the negative, welcoming the positive and demonstrating intent by using or developing mantras that state exactly why you are performing the cleansing. If you prefer prayer to mantras, then you should pray, either silently or aloud with your focus on positive, cleansing thoughts. However, none of this will have an impact on your life unless you believe it will.
Since cleansing has so much to do with your environment, it makes sense that you create a certain environment to perform the cleansing the space that you would like to cleanse should be clutter free. As a matter of fact, no cleansing should take place in an unkempt, cluttered area. A clean space allows energy to flow freely, either in or out of your space.
When you cleanse, you should perform this ritual on your entire home, beginning in one place and concluding the cleansing by pushing the negative out an open door or window, then immediately closing that door or window. A good plan is to begin in the point furthest from the exit you will be using and as you work your way throughout your space, you will sweep the smoking sage towards the exit always.
For more information on cleansings, how to perform them and what you will need for yours, in addition to how to perform a cleansing ritual on yourself, please go to my blog: http://puravidawellness.weebly.com/blog/category/cleansing. For all of you who are single, and would like to find or prepare for a new, healthy relationship, I strongly suggest you read the section on cleansing past loves. This ceremony should be performed before the cleansing of your home.
With this, you should feel a sort of rebirth. This doesn’t mean that you won’t still have some of the problems you had before the cleansing, there won’t be any more money in your bank account than you had beforehand, but you will be able to see things with a fresh set of eyes and a cleansed spirit.
Week Twelve - Cleansing
Because we are quickly approaching a New Year, I wanted to discuss the ritual of cleansing this week as some of you, hopefully many of you, will choose to make use of this New Year and make some resolutions to improve your life in some way. Like most of us, we never have a year that is all good or positive, or all bad, or all negative. However, it would be great if we can begin this coming year with a clean slate, or at least the intent of one in an effort to focus on those things we would like to accomplish. This is where cleansing your space comes in… Cleansing is an important component to wellness because this is one of the best ways to purge the negative, or get rid of what no longer works for you, to invite the positive energy needed to begin better habits, prepare for new relationships and simply clear out the past to welcome your future. It is not only a symbolic way of demonstrating intent, it is a tried and true way of sweeping negativity from your home and welcoming only positive energy which you will need to begin your new year.
In previous posts, I discussed your sanctuary, and how important clearing the clutter was to allowing positive energy, or Chi, to flow freely and in your favor. This is even truer when it comes to cleansing. To define clutter, most people would assume clutter is defined by those tangible things that collect in our closets, on our shelves and under our beds. Although these are all sources of clutter, other forms of clutter can include thoughts and hurt feelings from failed relationships, self-doubt and insecurities, and the materials you bring into your home (i.e., music, movies, and other people). If you are not making an effort to de-clutter your life form these, performing a cleansing or series of cleansings may not be as successful as they could be otherwise.
Often times some people will claim that cleansing never work for them, but this is generally the problem; cleansing isn’t an act of magic that will automatically yield you the desired result. Cleansing, as other components to your wellness, all need to be worked on individually, so they can all work together on your behalf. The ritual of cleansing is important because it is an action toward eliminating the negative, welcoming the positive and demonstrating intent by using or developing mantras that state exactly why you are performing the cleansing. If you prefer prayer to mantras, then you should pray, either silently or aloud with your focus on positive, cleansing thoughts. However, none of this will have an impact on your life unless you believe it will.
Since cleansing has so much to do with your environment, it makes sense that you create a certain environment to perform the cleansing the space that you would like to cleanse should be clutter free. As a matter of fact, no cleansing should take place in an unkempt, cluttered area. A clean space allows energy to flow freely, either in or out of your space.
When you cleanse, you should perform this ritual on your entire home, beginning in one place and concluding the cleansing by pushing the negative out an open door or window, then immediately closing that door or window. A good plan is to begin in the point furthest from the exit you will be using and as you work your way throughout your space, you will sweep the smoking sage towards the exit always.
For more information on cleansings, how to perform them and what you will need for yours, in addition to how to perform a cleansing ritual on yourself, please go to my blog: http://puravidawellness.weebly.com/blog/category/cleansing. For all of you who are single, and would like to find or prepare for a new, healthy relationship, I strongly suggest you read the section on cleansing past loves. This ceremony should be performed before the cleansing of your home.
With this, you should feel a sort of rebirth. This doesn’t mean that you won’t still have some of the problems you had before the cleansing, there won’t be any more money in your bank account than you had beforehand, but you will be able to see things with a fresh set of eyes and a cleansed spirit.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Eleven - Spirituality
Once upon a time in America if someone was referred to as a spiritual person, one would equate that with someone being religious. As the New Age movement made its way into modern culture, heavily influenced by Eastern philosophies, we see a spiritual person to be someone who seems to be more in touch with themselves on a personal level, not to mention more in touch with their environment. And, although they do believe in God, or a higher power, they are not necessarily engaged in the dogma attached to traditional religious norms.
An important item to note is that although you may not be in touch with your spiritual self, you are indeed a spiritual being having a human experience. The practice of becoming a more spiritual person is to understand that there is a higher power in your life and that power is hard at work, on your behalf, to help you along this journey which is your life. The more spiritual you become the closer you are to living your destiny. Spirituality humbles oneself to the notion that everything revolves around them and that we are only here, that we only exist to fulfill our own needs and satiate our own appetites. Sprirutality leads us to exactly where we are meant to be in our lives and that is to become part of the universe by fulfilling our destiny with the understanding that we are all connected to one another, in some way.
This is not to say that if you are a spiritual person you will have a perfect life because there is no such thing. Everyone stumbles, making wrong choices along the way. Often times the ego takes center stage in our lives and makes decisions on our behalf that take us off course. An example of someone whose life has run off course would be someone who is, or has been an addict of any kind. Also, someone who has had to live in “survival” mode often has not made the best choices because those choices were not the most readily available. Other times, as we journey through life, we begin to learn from those mistakes and select a path that better fulfills our destiny. This is generally how most of our lives are lived, by trial and error. There is nothing wrong with this as long as you do learn from your mistakes and make the choice to not relive them again, and again.
At the center of wellness is the mind and body connection. Often times the facet of spirituality is what is most missing from our lives, but at the same time, this important facet is what brings the other two together in perfect harmony. This is an ever-present truth in the world today with so many people who are unhappy in lives and also with themselves in general. You may hear people saying "something is missing" from their lives. Those lives may appear to be ideal, but without the component of spirituality, there is indeed something missing and that is the soul. Your soul is a living thing that needs nourishment like the rest of your body and your mind, but in a different way.
When you set out on the journey to discover your spiritual self, it is a transformative process as it forces one to "go deeper". This is not about how much money you have, what kind of car you drive, how much you weigh...it is about your contribution to your environment, the manner in which you conduct yourself, the environment in which you create and who you choose to become. It is more than living a life of integrity, it is living a life of purpose.
At the center of this transformation is ones ego. When you make the decision to set your ego aside, the self-hatred that we acquire throughout our lives because we are not what others think we should be, or sometimes, who we feel we should be, seemingly washes away. When you understand that this universe does not revolve around you, but you are a part of that universe, it takes so much pressure off of you to be everyone's version of perfect and become the best version of you and all of the choices that you make from that point on, will support who you wish to become.
When you finally release the demands of your ego, you'll acquire a new sense of self. A new self-respect. Because you respect yourself, you will take better care of yourself. You will understand that your body is your temple and you will treat it as such, by feeding it well and moving it on a daily basis to stay in shape (body). You will become more selective about the people you allow into your life and begin to sever ties with those who no longer bring positiviity to yours. In addition, you will do the same with your environment, ridding yourself of clutter so that you are able to focus on what is most important. Just like the people you allow into your life, you will also become selective of what you allow into your environment because you understand that everything is an extension of you. Everything carries with it its own energy and vibration and for you, only the positive can enter (mind). Finally, now that you have transformed your environment and the people in it, you have the space and the mindset to discover your purpose in life. You can learn and grow in a supportive environment that gives you a sense of connection and belonging. You will define your worth and develop a sense of values not through your possessions or the opinion of others, but through your own growth and understanding (spirituality).
Five ways to becoming more spiritually enlightened are:
1. Gratitude - Thank the universe for all that you have.
2. Meditate - I have gone over this previously, but it is an important component to spirituality. It is said that when you pray you are speaking to God, but when you meditate, God is speaking to you. Allow at least 15 minutes a day to sit in silence and nurture that relationship with your higher power.
3. Exercise the power that you have acquired to make positive choices that reflect the life you want and the person you wish to become. Continue to de-clutter your life from negativity in all its forms.
4. Choose happiness - Try to see the positive side of things and not dwell on the negative. Control your environment and what you allow to enter your mind and your life. Do not let your outside environment choose your outlook on life.
5. Read spiritual or uplifting books or materials. Use these references to support the choices you make and to help keep you on the path to discovering your spirtual self.
Week Eleven - Spirituality
Once upon a time in America if someone was referred to as a spiritual person, one would equate that with someone being religious. As the New Age movement made its way into modern culture, heavily influenced by Eastern philosophies, we see a spiritual person to be someone who seems to be more in touch with themselves on a personal level, not to mention more in touch with their environment. And, although they do believe in God, or a higher power, they are not necessarily engaged in the dogma attached to traditional religious norms.
An important item to note is that although you may not be in touch with your spiritual self, you are indeed a spiritual being having a human experience. The practice of becoming a more spiritual person is to understand that there is a higher power in your life and that power is hard at work, on your behalf, to help you along this journey which is your life. The more spiritual you become the closer you are to living your destiny. Spirituality humbles oneself to the notion that everything revolves around them and that we are only here, that we only exist to fulfill our own needs and satiate our own appetites. Sprirutality leads us to exactly where we are meant to be in our lives and that is to become part of the universe by fulfilling our destiny with the understanding that we are all connected to one another, in some way.
This is not to say that if you are a spiritual person you will have a perfect life because there is no such thing. Everyone stumbles, making wrong choices along the way. Often times the ego takes center stage in our lives and makes decisions on our behalf that take us off course. An example of someone whose life has run off course would be someone who is, or has been an addict of any kind. Also, someone who has had to live in “survival” mode often has not made the best choices because those choices were not the most readily available. Other times, as we journey through life, we begin to learn from those mistakes and select a path that better fulfills our destiny. This is generally how most of our lives are lived, by trial and error. There is nothing wrong with this as long as you do learn from your mistakes and make the choice to not relive them again, and again.
At the center of wellness is the mind and body connection. Often times the facet of spirituality is what is most missing from our lives, but at the same time, this important facet is what brings the other two together in perfect harmony. This is an ever-present truth in the world today with so many people who are unhappy in lives and also with themselves in general. You may hear people saying "something is missing" from their lives. Those lives may appear to be ideal, but without the component of spirituality, there is indeed something missing and that is the soul. Your soul is a living thing that needs nourishment like the rest of your body and your mind, but in a different way.
When you set out on the journey to discover your spiritual self, it is a transformative process as it forces one to "go deeper". This is not about how much money you have, what kind of car you drive, how much you weigh...it is about your contribution to your environment, the manner in which you conduct yourself, the environment in which you create and who you choose to become. It is more than living a life of integrity, it is living a life of purpose.
At the center of this transformation is ones ego. When you make the decision to set your ego aside, the self-hatred that we acquire throughout our lives because we are not what others think we should be, or sometimes, who we feel we should be, seemingly washes away. When you understand that this universe does not revolve around you, but you are a part of that universe, it takes so much pressure off of you to be everyone's version of perfect and become the best version of you and all of the choices that you make from that point on, will support who you wish to become.
When you finally release the demands of your ego, you'll acquire a new sense of self. A new self-respect. Because you respect yourself, you will take better care of yourself. You will understand that your body is your temple and you will treat it as such, by feeding it well and moving it on a daily basis to stay in shape (body). You will become more selective about the people you allow into your life and begin to sever ties with those who no longer bring positiviity to yours. In addition, you will do the same with your environment, ridding yourself of clutter so that you are able to focus on what is most important. Just like the people you allow into your life, you will also become selective of what you allow into your environment because you understand that everything is an extension of you. Everything carries with it its own energy and vibration and for you, only the positive can enter (mind). Finally, now that you have transformed your environment and the people in it, you have the space and the mindset to discover your purpose in life. You can learn and grow in a supportive environment that gives you a sense of connection and belonging. You will define your worth and develop a sense of values not through your possessions or the opinion of others, but through your own growth and understanding (spirituality).
Five ways to becoming more spiritually enlightened are:
1. Gratitude - Thank the universe for all that you have.
2. Meditate - I have gone over this previously, but it is an important component to spirituality. It is said that when you pray you are speaking to God, but when you meditate, God is speaking to you. Allow at least 15 minutes a day to sit in silence and nurture that relationship with your higher power.
3. Exercise the power that you have acquired to make positive choices that reflect the life you want and the person you wish to become. Continue to de-clutter your life from negativity in all its forms.
4. Choose happiness - Try to see the positive side of things and not dwell on the negative. Control your environment and what you allow to enter your mind and your life. Do not let your outside environment choose your outlook on life.
5. Read spiritual or uplifting books or materials. Use these references to support the choices you make and to help keep you on the path to discovering your spirtual self.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Ten - LOVE
To begin the second half of this long, 20 week journey, I am going to be discussing some big topics. Wellness envelops so many things, some complicated and some simple. Love seems simple enough, but true love is not as simple as it seems, but is the most beautiful feeling when you finally discover it.
Love is omnipresent, everywhere, all the time. We were made, each of us, to be loving human beings. Here to love and be loved. But, like everything else in our lives, we allow something as beautiful and pure as love to become so complicated that we cease to even understand the meaning of it any longer. Nor do we realize when it is right at our front door because it is so unfamiliar to us.
The reason this occurs is because we do not live our lives in a loving way, not to others and especially not to ourselves. We fill our lives with such nonsense to keep our minds busy with minutae, we forget to nurture our hearts. Perhaps it's because we've given up on the notion that there is someone out there for us, or maybe we are simply not as prepared for a true love connection as we claim to be. Whichever the case for you, there's still hope!
You've often heard the saying, "There's a lid for every pot", meaning that everyone has a mate out there, ready and waiting to meet you and fall in love. I totally believe there is someone specially made for each and every one of us. I believe that person crosses our path in our lifetime, and I also believe that although fate brings us together, the human factor steps in and changes the path in which our lives take. Often times it's because we are not spiritually grounded, so we allow our egos to take the steering wheel and drive our lives exactly where we find ourselves today. You see, fate has already chosen your love, but it is up to you to select them and when you are not connected spiritually you often miss your true destiny in life.
People pass up the true loves of their life all the time because they are chasing something else. They are afraid to let go of someone who they know is not right for them but stay anyway because it's comfortable. Sometimes people do not end up with their soulmate simply because they do not have the courage to say I'm sorry for something they've done, so they forfeit a love of a lifetime to protect their ego and suffer because of it. And sometimes, people simply stopped believing in love and set their focus on other things to fill that space, but there is a space inside each of us that requires a love that only someone else can provide.
Have you seen those couples who have been together seemingly forever? Those couples that barely acknowledge one another? Do you personally know couples that "playfully" call each other names that aren't so nice and for the most part, live separate lives? Those people are not with their soulmates. Those people settled for what was comfortable and easy because the effort of actually preparing for their soulmate was too great, and they pay the price with a less than fulfilling love which bleeds into every other facet of their lives. This affects your sense of wellness to the core, because this is your heart, the center of everything.
We settle for someone that fills our needs at the time, rather than someone who can feed us for a lifetime because deep down inside we don't feel deserving. Like the adage, "if something is too good to be true, it probably is". Fear scares you into sabotaging your own happiness. If you've had a string of failed relationships in your rear view, the good news is that you have not settled. The negative side, or what you must work on, is to stop wasting time on these and make the decision to wait for someone deserving of forever, rather than for now. You must fight the fear of being alone, and allow faith to work in your favor.
This "in the meantime" can be used to work on yourself, make yourself better, and learn to believe in true love again. No, not that childhood, watered-down, fairytale version, but true, passionate, committed love, that sometimes comes with arguments and disagreements but also compromise and apologies. A love that, at the end of the day, is the most safe and secure place to keep your heart. Spend your time on not only learning about love, but becoming love, and most importantly loving yourself because if you do not love yourself enough, you will settle for much less than what fate has in store for you.
How do you know if you're ready for love, or if perhaps you've already met someone who is your soulmate? Have you ever met someone that you were so fascinated by you simply could not get enough of them? Did you have a feeling that you have known this person for what seems forever? Someone that you couldn't bear to say goodnight to, even after talking on the phone for hours? And, your conversations do not simply consist of small talk, but deep conversation, a connection of substance with someone that made you think differently about so many things, especially about yourself, and actually made you feel that you really didn't know as much as you thought you did? No, they didn't make you feel inferior, or ignorant, they just opened your mind to things you never thought before. Perhaps this person even angered you because they, without knowing you, actually could tell you so much more about yourself than even your best friend could?
Does the possibility of that scare you? Because there is a good chance that person is the one. That person, the one that shakes your soul, and rearranges your world. That one who makes you feel uncomfortable and challenges you, can very well be the one who is here to love you in a way you never thought possible. Know that love is not comfortable at first. Love can be challenging and true love especially, because it is something unfamiliar to most of us.
Traits of Someone Ready for Love
Actions - Loving people do not take other people at their word and neither should you. Some people enjoy sprinkling the word Love around in hopes someone will reciprocate in kind. To weed out those opportunists, hold out for action. The phrase "actions speak louder than words", isn't for nothing. Before you allow those three little words to fly from your mouth, be responsible and be sure to back it up with loving actions. and do not settle for less than reciprocation. Loving people don't just say they love you, they know how to show you by the little and big things they do to demonstrate that you are important to them. Although gifts are nice and appreciated, these little things have nothing to do with money and everything to do with someone taking what they know about you, and showing you that they are listening. The actions loving people take are to assure you that your heart is safe with them.
Please note the difference between ready for love and desperate for companionship.
-Someone who is ready and open to love may put themselves in a position to meet other like-minded individuals by joining groups, asking friends to introduce them to their single friends and just getting out and meeting others. Someone who is desperate for companionship spends too much time trolling the internet for opportunities and posting profiles on all the dating sites in an effort to simply not be alone. Someone who is truly open to finding true love is much more selective because their intent is not for the interim, but forever.
-Another trait of people who are ready for love possess is the ability to nurture. Whether it be a child, a pet or a home, they are a loving, nurturing presence. I suppose the ability to nurture a child or pet is self-explanatory, but in regards to nurturing a home, this really speaks to a persons ability to settle down. Not only to be domestic, but to actually care about the space where you live. This doesn't mean settling down with 2 or 3 or your closest friends or renting a room out from a family member, it means being responsible for maintaining a household and caring about what you place within its walls. Think "if you build it, they will come". Love grows and is nurtured in the environment in which you create.
-The next trait of someone who is ready to love is the ability to edit their lives. This means if you met someone right this minute, who could very possibly the "the one", is there anything you wouldn't want them to see or know about you? If the answer is yes then you need to get it out of your life right now. This has to do with questionable people, what you discuss on the internet, not to mention your online behavior in general. Once upon a time we didn't have to worry as much about these things, but the internet is a living thing and in real time you can totally destroy your reputation with someone that would otherwise like you if it wasn't for your careless actions. If you neglect to do so, they have no other choice but to respond, and if they are a person who knows their value, you could very well lose something great.
This isn't just about the internet, it's about how you live your life and who you allow in it. This demonstrates whether or not you have the substance and integrity needed to actually be in a relationship. What it comes down to is priorities. You may say that you are done with your past, but does everything in your life mirror that sentiment? If not, you better clean house. Are you more concerned with the amount of Facebook friends you have or the amount of followers you have on Instagram, or are you willing to be mature enough to funnel your energies into having a life offline with someone who deserves your undivided attention? If you are not ready to commit, then don't. But, don't say you are if you're still on the fence because someone else should not have to pay the price for your immaturity.
-One more trait to look for is someone who possesses a life that is fulfilling without you. Of course things change once you find each other because you invest time in one another. However, you want to meet someone who has interests, goals and a passion for something. Understand this is not related to income, but real interests and passions. Whether it be volunteering, hiking, travel or checking items off their bucket list. It doesn't really matter, but one of the great things about getting to know someone is sharing each others interests with one another. This is a wonderful way of learning more about each other and a fun fact? Studies show that when couples do these sort of activities together, they not only bond, but they create memories because even if it's something they may not have wanted to do, they actually have fun because they're doing it with you.
What it comes down to is when your soul finds it's true mate, you want to be present. Not just there but present and prepared to truly and completely love them. You simply cannot do this surrounded by clutter, and in this case the clutter are all the things you allowed into your life to avoid truly living and loving on a higher level.
Things to keep in mind when determining whether or not someone could be for you?
-If someone wants something from you that money CAN buy, they do not love you. Times are hard, but you were not put here to bail anyone out. If someone has the audacity to ask or demand things or money from you, they do not love you. Further, love has the best chance of growing when both people can stand on their own two feet. Things happen sometimes and people find themselves in the precarious position of being momentarily unemployed, but that doesn't mean you are to take care of them in the interim. That's what unemployment is for. Don't entitle someone to your bank account because you're afraid of being alone. Having to pay for services rendered is a whole other topic.
-If they do not incorporate you into all facets of their life, they could be hiding something, and if they are hiding something, it is probably not pretty. Someone can be quick to mention you to their family and friends and even friend you on Facebook, but if they're keeping all their other accounts secret, it's probably because they're hiding less than stellar behavior. Proceed with caution with this person because if they cannot close the door on something they wouldn't want you to be privy to, they are not ready for love. This is like a neon sign of immaturity. They should be no less than full disclosure with you, as should you.
- The ability to give and accept an apology. Let's face it, when we are getting to know someone there can be a lot of things misconstrued. You're learning each other's behavior, vernacular and cadence. It's easy to take something the wrong way, so apologize and show that you are sincere by making those small changes. If you are the one being apologized to, then forgive and forget. If someone is continually apologizing for the same behavior, however, that could pose a problem, so be aware because that could very well be another sign of someone who is emotionally immature and incapable of caring for your heart appropriately.
-The best relationships consist of two people whose strengths and weaknesses compliment, not combat one another. This is the perfect marriage of yin and yang. You don't need someone in your life who is just like you and agrees with everything you say, nor should you want that unless you're a narcissist. They say we marry our conscience. Someone who can hold up a mirror to ourselves, not only to show our beauty but sometimes the ugliness that resides within as well. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the people who truly love you and want the best for you will stimulate your growth in ways you could never imagine. Remember, those who truly love you want you to be the best version of you possible. Sometimes they may not be able to communicate that concisely, but they do indeed want the best for you and why wouldn't they? They plan on being with you forever!
-Communicating effectively is a gift most of us do not possess. However, it is a relatively simple skill that we all can learn. The one key to being a great communicator is to listen intently. This is especially relevant when there's trouble in paradise. No matter how much you object, wait your turn then speak your mind. And, when you do speak, try to refrain from accusing or blaming. Once you put someone on the defense, they cease to listen and are only formulating their response. Once someone checks out of a discussion, it is much more difficult to resolve.
Couples who communicate effectively make a safe haven for their partner to tell the other how they are feeling without condemnation. What that means is if your partner tells you something that makes them feel bad, you cannot tell them they are wrong. These are their feelings and they are entitled to them. There are no wrongs or rights here. Believe it or not this gets easier with time, as long as you continue to love and respect one another.
-Trust is probably the single most important component of love. Here is where the conundrum lies, you don't owe anyone your trust. Trust must be earned. So the question arises, how can you get into a relationship with someone you don't trust? By faith...You build that foundation to make it last by building trust. Imagine trust as an actual foundation of a home. Your home stands or falls on how strong that foundation is, so you invest in one another, and put in all the hard work to build it as strong as possible, by understanding and practicing what is being discussed here. Trust is built when one or both people have a decision to make that will affect their relationship and choose love every time. How can you not, at the very least begin to trust one another when your relationship is the priority?
Some people do not believe this. They will simply blindly trust someone and then be surprised when they are betrayed. Then, they're surprised when it happens again and yet again. You must be your best advocate when it comes to you and protect yourself from people who will take advantage of your naivete. Hold off on trusting someone with your heart until you have some evidence that they deserve it. Do not allow your insecurities fool you into thinking that someone is worthy of your trust before they have done anything to show that they can be trusted.
Of course, many of the other attributes discussed here add to the trust quotient in your love life. This is where communication especially comes in handy because your version of trust compared to your partners can be very different. One tip to building trust? Don't lie - even a white lie is wrong. And, on that subject, do you know once someone gets to know you better, they will most likely know if you lie anyway, so spare the drama and be honest, and if you can't then get back to work on yourself. Not being trustworthy is a sign of someone broken, which leads me to the subject of broken people.
-Beware of broken people. People that have not yet worked through their own personal issues are rarely prepared to take on the journey of a loving, nurturing, reciprocative relationship. Broken people are either takers or givers but rarely know how to reciprocate in either case. Both are negatives because if someone is a taker, they void you of your resources, whether it be patience, finances, empathy and/or understanding, to the point where you are eventually running on empty. Alternatively, a giver provides these things to someone else as currency to a relationship but once the other person gets what they want, they no longer need the relationship.
These people may be broken for many different reasons, but without effort on their part, they will not be well enough to be anyone's soulmate. This is a clear example of someone taking a path that veered away from what fate had in store for them. This can be abuse, whether they were abused or are the abuser, as well as addictions, or even mental illness. This does not only include those who are currently in their addiction, regardless of what that consists of, but those who have not invested enough effort into their recovery, because if someone cannot ride a bike without training wheels, they are unable to take on a passenger.
Remember, YOU cannot fix anyone. You do not owe anyone the sacrifice of your time and patience while someone is fixing themselves. Set them free and the universe will reward you with that person meant for you. If you are the person who needs to work on your issues, then set a goal with a timeline so you can track your progress. Therapy is a great start to all things healthy.
Life should be full of beautiful moments that bring tears to your eyes because they bring you so much happiness. Finding someone that you are truly in love with should bring you that kind of happiness.
Week Ten - LOVE
To begin the second half of this long, 20 week journey, I am going to be discussing some big topics. Wellness envelops so many things, some complicated and some simple. Love seems simple enough, but true love is not as simple as it seems, but is the most beautiful feeling when you finally discover it.
Love is omnipresent, everywhere, all the time. We were made, each of us, to be loving human beings. Here to love and be loved. But, like everything else in our lives, we allow something as beautiful and pure as love to become so complicated that we cease to even understand the meaning of it any longer. Nor do we realize when it is right at our front door because it is so unfamiliar to us.
The reason this occurs is because we do not live our lives in a loving way, not to others and especially not to ourselves. We fill our lives with such nonsense to keep our minds busy with minutae, we forget to nurture our hearts. Perhaps it's because we've given up on the notion that there is someone out there for us, or maybe we are simply not as prepared for a true love connection as we claim to be. Whichever the case for you, there's still hope!
You've often heard the saying, "There's a lid for every pot", meaning that everyone has a mate out there, ready and waiting to meet you and fall in love. I totally believe there is someone specially made for each and every one of us. I believe that person crosses our path in our lifetime, and I also believe that although fate brings us together, the human factor steps in and changes the path in which our lives take. Often times it's because we are not spiritually grounded, so we allow our egos to take the steering wheel and drive our lives exactly where we find ourselves today. You see, fate has already chosen your love, but it is up to you to select them and when you are not connected spiritually you often miss your true destiny in life.
People pass up the true loves of their life all the time because they are chasing something else. They are afraid to let go of someone who they know is not right for them but stay anyway because it's comfortable. Sometimes people do not end up with their soulmate simply because they do not have the courage to say I'm sorry for something they've done, so they forfeit a love of a lifetime to protect their ego and suffer because of it. And sometimes, people simply stopped believing in love and set their focus on other things to fill that space, but there is a space inside each of us that requires a love that only someone else can provide.
Have you seen those couples who have been together seemingly forever? Those couples that barely acknowledge one another? Do you personally know couples that "playfully" call each other names that aren't so nice and for the most part, live separate lives? Those people are not with their soulmates. Those people settled for what was comfortable and easy because the effort of actually preparing for their soulmate was too great, and they pay the price with a less than fulfilling love which bleeds into every other facet of their lives. This affects your sense of wellness to the core, because this is your heart, the center of everything.
We settle for someone that fills our needs at the time, rather than someone who can feed us for a lifetime because deep down inside we don't feel deserving. Like the adage, "if something is too good to be true, it probably is". Fear scares you into sabotaging your own happiness. If you've had a string of failed relationships in your rear view, the good news is that you have not settled. The negative side, or what you must work on, is to stop wasting time on these and make the decision to wait for someone deserving of forever, rather than for now. You must fight the fear of being alone, and allow faith to work in your favor.
This "in the meantime" can be used to work on yourself, make yourself better, and learn to believe in true love again. No, not that childhood, watered-down, fairytale version, but true, passionate, committed love, that sometimes comes with arguments and disagreements but also compromise and apologies. A love that, at the end of the day, is the most safe and secure place to keep your heart. Spend your time on not only learning about love, but becoming love, and most importantly loving yourself because if you do not love yourself enough, you will settle for much less than what fate has in store for you.
How do you know if you're ready for love, or if perhaps you've already met someone who is your soulmate? Have you ever met someone that you were so fascinated by you simply could not get enough of them? Did you have a feeling that you have known this person for what seems forever? Someone that you couldn't bear to say goodnight to, even after talking on the phone for hours? And, your conversations do not simply consist of small talk, but deep conversation, a connection of substance with someone that made you think differently about so many things, especially about yourself, and actually made you feel that you really didn't know as much as you thought you did? No, they didn't make you feel inferior, or ignorant, they just opened your mind to things you never thought before. Perhaps this person even angered you because they, without knowing you, actually could tell you so much more about yourself than even your best friend could?
Does the possibility of that scare you? Because there is a good chance that person is the one. That person, the one that shakes your soul, and rearranges your world. That one who makes you feel uncomfortable and challenges you, can very well be the one who is here to love you in a way you never thought possible. Know that love is not comfortable at first. Love can be challenging and true love especially, because it is something unfamiliar to most of us.
Traits of Someone Ready for Love
Actions - Loving people do not take other people at their word and neither should you. Some people enjoy sprinkling the word Love around in hopes someone will reciprocate in kind. To weed out those opportunists, hold out for action. The phrase "actions speak louder than words", isn't for nothing. Before you allow those three little words to fly from your mouth, be responsible and be sure to back it up with loving actions. and do not settle for less than reciprocation. Loving people don't just say they love you, they know how to show you by the little and big things they do to demonstrate that you are important to them. Although gifts are nice and appreciated, these little things have nothing to do with money and everything to do with someone taking what they know about you, and showing you that they are listening. The actions loving people take are to assure you that your heart is safe with them.
Please note the difference between ready for love and desperate for companionship.
-Someone who is ready and open to love may put themselves in a position to meet other like-minded individuals by joining groups, asking friends to introduce them to their single friends and just getting out and meeting others. Someone who is desperate for companionship spends too much time trolling the internet for opportunities and posting profiles on all the dating sites in an effort to simply not be alone. Someone who is truly open to finding true love is much more selective because their intent is not for the interim, but forever.
-Another trait of people who are ready for love possess is the ability to nurture. Whether it be a child, a pet or a home, they are a loving, nurturing presence. I suppose the ability to nurture a child or pet is self-explanatory, but in regards to nurturing a home, this really speaks to a persons ability to settle down. Not only to be domestic, but to actually care about the space where you live. This doesn't mean settling down with 2 or 3 or your closest friends or renting a room out from a family member, it means being responsible for maintaining a household and caring about what you place within its walls. Think "if you build it, they will come". Love grows and is nurtured in the environment in which you create.
-The next trait of someone who is ready to love is the ability to edit their lives. This means if you met someone right this minute, who could very possibly the "the one", is there anything you wouldn't want them to see or know about you? If the answer is yes then you need to get it out of your life right now. This has to do with questionable people, what you discuss on the internet, not to mention your online behavior in general. Once upon a time we didn't have to worry as much about these things, but the internet is a living thing and in real time you can totally destroy your reputation with someone that would otherwise like you if it wasn't for your careless actions. If you neglect to do so, they have no other choice but to respond, and if they are a person who knows their value, you could very well lose something great.
This isn't just about the internet, it's about how you live your life and who you allow in it. This demonstrates whether or not you have the substance and integrity needed to actually be in a relationship. What it comes down to is priorities. You may say that you are done with your past, but does everything in your life mirror that sentiment? If not, you better clean house. Are you more concerned with the amount of Facebook friends you have or the amount of followers you have on Instagram, or are you willing to be mature enough to funnel your energies into having a life offline with someone who deserves your undivided attention? If you are not ready to commit, then don't. But, don't say you are if you're still on the fence because someone else should not have to pay the price for your immaturity.
-One more trait to look for is someone who possesses a life that is fulfilling without you. Of course things change once you find each other because you invest time in one another. However, you want to meet someone who has interests, goals and a passion for something. Understand this is not related to income, but real interests and passions. Whether it be volunteering, hiking, travel or checking items off their bucket list. It doesn't really matter, but one of the great things about getting to know someone is sharing each others interests with one another. This is a wonderful way of learning more about each other and a fun fact? Studies show that when couples do these sort of activities together, they not only bond, but they create memories because even if it's something they may not have wanted to do, they actually have fun because they're doing it with you.
What it comes down to is when your soul finds it's true mate, you want to be present. Not just there but present and prepared to truly and completely love them. You simply cannot do this surrounded by clutter, and in this case the clutter are all the things you allowed into your life to avoid truly living and loving on a higher level.
Things to keep in mind when determining whether or not someone could be for you?
-If someone wants something from you that money CAN buy, they do not love you. Times are hard, but you were not put here to bail anyone out. If someone has the audacity to ask or demand things or money from you, they do not love you. Further, love has the best chance of growing when both people can stand on their own two feet. Things happen sometimes and people find themselves in the precarious position of being momentarily unemployed, but that doesn't mean you are to take care of them in the interim. That's what unemployment is for. Don't entitle someone to your bank account because you're afraid of being alone. Having to pay for services rendered is a whole other topic.
-If they do not incorporate you into all facets of their life, they could be hiding something, and if they are hiding something, it is probably not pretty. Someone can be quick to mention you to their family and friends and even friend you on Facebook, but if they're keeping all their other accounts secret, it's probably because they're hiding less than stellar behavior. Proceed with caution with this person because if they cannot close the door on something they wouldn't want you to be privy to, they are not ready for love. This is like a neon sign of immaturity. They should be no less than full disclosure with you, as should you.
- The ability to give and accept an apology. Let's face it, when we are getting to know someone there can be a lot of things misconstrued. You're learning each other's behavior, vernacular and cadence. It's easy to take something the wrong way, so apologize and show that you are sincere by making those small changes. If you are the one being apologized to, then forgive and forget. If someone is continually apologizing for the same behavior, however, that could pose a problem, so be aware because that could very well be another sign of someone who is emotionally immature and incapable of caring for your heart appropriately.
-The best relationships consist of two people whose strengths and weaknesses compliment, not combat one another. This is the perfect marriage of yin and yang. You don't need someone in your life who is just like you and agrees with everything you say, nor should you want that unless you're a narcissist. They say we marry our conscience. Someone who can hold up a mirror to ourselves, not only to show our beauty but sometimes the ugliness that resides within as well. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the people who truly love you and want the best for you will stimulate your growth in ways you could never imagine. Remember, those who truly love you want you to be the best version of you possible. Sometimes they may not be able to communicate that concisely, but they do indeed want the best for you and why wouldn't they? They plan on being with you forever!
-Communicating effectively is a gift most of us do not possess. However, it is a relatively simple skill that we all can learn. The one key to being a great communicator is to listen intently. This is especially relevant when there's trouble in paradise. No matter how much you object, wait your turn then speak your mind. And, when you do speak, try to refrain from accusing or blaming. Once you put someone on the defense, they cease to listen and are only formulating their response. Once someone checks out of a discussion, it is much more difficult to resolve.
Couples who communicate effectively make a safe haven for their partner to tell the other how they are feeling without condemnation. What that means is if your partner tells you something that makes them feel bad, you cannot tell them they are wrong. These are their feelings and they are entitled to them. There are no wrongs or rights here. Believe it or not this gets easier with time, as long as you continue to love and respect one another.
-Trust is probably the single most important component of love. Here is where the conundrum lies, you don't owe anyone your trust. Trust must be earned. So the question arises, how can you get into a relationship with someone you don't trust? By faith...You build that foundation to make it last by building trust. Imagine trust as an actual foundation of a home. Your home stands or falls on how strong that foundation is, so you invest in one another, and put in all the hard work to build it as strong as possible, by understanding and practicing what is being discussed here. Trust is built when one or both people have a decision to make that will affect their relationship and choose love every time. How can you not, at the very least begin to trust one another when your relationship is the priority?
Some people do not believe this. They will simply blindly trust someone and then be surprised when they are betrayed. Then, they're surprised when it happens again and yet again. You must be your best advocate when it comes to you and protect yourself from people who will take advantage of your naivete. Hold off on trusting someone with your heart until you have some evidence that they deserve it. Do not allow your insecurities fool you into thinking that someone is worthy of your trust before they have done anything to show that they can be trusted.
Of course, many of the other attributes discussed here add to the trust quotient in your love life. This is where communication especially comes in handy because your version of trust compared to your partners can be very different. One tip to building trust? Don't lie - even a white lie is wrong. And, on that subject, do you know once someone gets to know you better, they will most likely know if you lie anyway, so spare the drama and be honest, and if you can't then get back to work on yourself. Not being trustworthy is a sign of someone broken, which leads me to the subject of broken people.
-Beware of broken people. People that have not yet worked through their own personal issues are rarely prepared to take on the journey of a loving, nurturing, reciprocative relationship. Broken people are either takers or givers but rarely know how to reciprocate in either case. Both are negatives because if someone is a taker, they void you of your resources, whether it be patience, finances, empathy and/or understanding, to the point where you are eventually running on empty. Alternatively, a giver provides these things to someone else as currency to a relationship but once the other person gets what they want, they no longer need the relationship.
These people may be broken for many different reasons, but without effort on their part, they will not be well enough to be anyone's soulmate. This is a clear example of someone taking a path that veered away from what fate had in store for them. This can be abuse, whether they were abused or are the abuser, as well as addictions, or even mental illness. This does not only include those who are currently in their addiction, regardless of what that consists of, but those who have not invested enough effort into their recovery, because if someone cannot ride a bike without training wheels, they are unable to take on a passenger.
Remember, YOU cannot fix anyone. You do not owe anyone the sacrifice of your time and patience while someone is fixing themselves. Set them free and the universe will reward you with that person meant for you. If you are the person who needs to work on your issues, then set a goal with a timeline so you can track your progress. Therapy is a great start to all things healthy.
Life should be full of beautiful moments that bring tears to your eyes because they bring you so much happiness. Finding someone that you are truly in love with should bring you that kind of happiness.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Nine - Change
I'm sure that Melissa Etheridge isn't the first one to say it, but I like the way she sings it, “The only thing that stays the same is change”. Whether we realize it or not, change is a constant in our lives. Whether or not it is implemented by our own hand, or by another, change is omnipresent in each of our lives. It's time we use that to our advantage.
As we approach the mid-point of this journey next week, this week I wanted to address the topic of change, as It serves as an umbrella for each topic. However, to truly embrace and encourage change, we need to discover where it is we actually feel change is needed. I felt strongly about introducing change this week because I am in the midst of many changes in my life and felt the need to discuss the topic now in an effort to lay the foundation for the coming weeks.
Some may use this 20 week program as a guide, getting useful tips along the way, where others may want assistance in something more specific that they would like to improve upon. Whichever may be the case for you, I would like to offer some advice on how you can use the topics from the prior weeks to figure out where you feel change is needed and use these topics to help you along the way. Also, if you feel strongly about another topic pertaining to wellness, please email me to let me know. If it is not addressed here in this series, I will gladly address it in a future blog post.
For this week, use the prior topics, such as meditation to focus on those things you would like to see change. Use what you discover in your meditations to set goals for yourself. If, for example, you are convinced that the path to your changes include a change of career, put together a timeline and some small, obtainable goals to serve as your barometer for your progress.
When discovering where exactly you feel change is needed, ask yourself these three things:
1. Am I doing this for myself, or to please someone else? To give your best effort at anything, you need to be dedicated to your goals. The only way to do this is to make sure that you are doing this for yourself. The changes you make in your life must be decided by you, when you are ready to make them. Of course, like everything else there are exceptions, such as changing behaviors that are not serving you well in terms of your relationships, because what sense does it make to end your relationships until you change? Overall, these changes need to be implemented by you.
2. Why do you want to change? This may sound similar to number one, but it is not. Why do you want to change is a great question because your answer will determine how serious you are about improving something about yourself. It will also determine your chance of success because if you don't want it bad enough, you won't be successful. Change is a beautiful thing, but at first it can be uncomfortable, so make sure you are ready to ride it out.
3. How will this improve my life? This may be a no-brainer for some people, but often times, people go on about how they would like to do this or that and they never really do because they cannot see the value in making that particular change. For some, this is an easy one. If you are looking to change your diet or exercise habits, the change is evident and relies upon your ability to do so. The improvement comes when you stick to it and you can see that you are more fit, feel healthier, etc.
For changes that are more internalized, the noticeable change may not be as prevalent but for some people, who are in need of making these sort of changes, the results can be more amazing than you can imagine. A great example is if your relationship needs improvement. If both are on board to make the needed changes, imagine the bond that is built between two people when they are working hard toward the same goal? When two people are dedicated to make it work and make the changes to communicate better, handle the pressures of their relationship better and understand one another in a deeper way, the benefits are endless.
If your internal changes are more singular, then it may seem like a lonely road for the interim, and sometimes you cannot see measurable changes until something occurs that you once would have reacted to in a very different way. Whatever the change is, know that realizing that you are due for a change is a very positive feeling. Change requires work and results in growth, personally and for those around you as well because that positive energy radiates and can promote change in others as well.
In the following weeks, we will be focusing on the topics of Yoga, Love, Vegetarian/Veganism, Spirituality and Giving, just to name a few. Please use these to incorporate changes that you would like to make, along with the previous weeks, and please send me a note if I am missing something that you would like to discuss [email protected]. I would love to hear from you!
Here is a list of GREAT books that can help change your life:
Rhonda Britten – Change your life in 30 days
Iyanla Vanzant – In the Meantime
Rhonda Byrne – The Secret
Eckart Tolle – The Power of Now
Gary Zukav – Spiritual Partnership
Week Nine - Change
I'm sure that Melissa Etheridge isn't the first one to say it, but I like the way she sings it, “The only thing that stays the same is change”. Whether we realize it or not, change is a constant in our lives. Whether or not it is implemented by our own hand, or by another, change is omnipresent in each of our lives. It's time we use that to our advantage.
As we approach the mid-point of this journey next week, this week I wanted to address the topic of change, as It serves as an umbrella for each topic. However, to truly embrace and encourage change, we need to discover where it is we actually feel change is needed. I felt strongly about introducing change this week because I am in the midst of many changes in my life and felt the need to discuss the topic now in an effort to lay the foundation for the coming weeks.
Some may use this 20 week program as a guide, getting useful tips along the way, where others may want assistance in something more specific that they would like to improve upon. Whichever may be the case for you, I would like to offer some advice on how you can use the topics from the prior weeks to figure out where you feel change is needed and use these topics to help you along the way. Also, if you feel strongly about another topic pertaining to wellness, please email me to let me know. If it is not addressed here in this series, I will gladly address it in a future blog post.
For this week, use the prior topics, such as meditation to focus on those things you would like to see change. Use what you discover in your meditations to set goals for yourself. If, for example, you are convinced that the path to your changes include a change of career, put together a timeline and some small, obtainable goals to serve as your barometer for your progress.
When discovering where exactly you feel change is needed, ask yourself these three things:
1. Am I doing this for myself, or to please someone else? To give your best effort at anything, you need to be dedicated to your goals. The only way to do this is to make sure that you are doing this for yourself. The changes you make in your life must be decided by you, when you are ready to make them. Of course, like everything else there are exceptions, such as changing behaviors that are not serving you well in terms of your relationships, because what sense does it make to end your relationships until you change? Overall, these changes need to be implemented by you.
2. Why do you want to change? This may sound similar to number one, but it is not. Why do you want to change is a great question because your answer will determine how serious you are about improving something about yourself. It will also determine your chance of success because if you don't want it bad enough, you won't be successful. Change is a beautiful thing, but at first it can be uncomfortable, so make sure you are ready to ride it out.
3. How will this improve my life? This may be a no-brainer for some people, but often times, people go on about how they would like to do this or that and they never really do because they cannot see the value in making that particular change. For some, this is an easy one. If you are looking to change your diet or exercise habits, the change is evident and relies upon your ability to do so. The improvement comes when you stick to it and you can see that you are more fit, feel healthier, etc.
For changes that are more internalized, the noticeable change may not be as prevalent but for some people, who are in need of making these sort of changes, the results can be more amazing than you can imagine. A great example is if your relationship needs improvement. If both are on board to make the needed changes, imagine the bond that is built between two people when they are working hard toward the same goal? When two people are dedicated to make it work and make the changes to communicate better, handle the pressures of their relationship better and understand one another in a deeper way, the benefits are endless.
If your internal changes are more singular, then it may seem like a lonely road for the interim, and sometimes you cannot see measurable changes until something occurs that you once would have reacted to in a very different way. Whatever the change is, know that realizing that you are due for a change is a very positive feeling. Change requires work and results in growth, personally and for those around you as well because that positive energy radiates and can promote change in others as well.
In the following weeks, we will be focusing on the topics of Yoga, Love, Vegetarian/Veganism, Spirituality and Giving, just to name a few. Please use these to incorporate changes that you would like to make, along with the previous weeks, and please send me a note if I am missing something that you would like to discuss [email protected]. I would love to hear from you!
Here is a list of GREAT books that can help change your life:
Rhonda Britten – Change your life in 30 days
Iyanla Vanzant – In the Meantime
Rhonda Byrne – The Secret
Eckart Tolle – The Power of Now
Gary Zukav – Spiritual Partnership
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Eight - Finances
When people think about financial responsibility, people are of the mindset that financial responsibility is about making enough money to pay all of your bills. The reality is that to be financially responsible isn't about making enough money to support your lifestyle, rather being financially responsible with the money you do make and living a lifestyle within your means.
Americans really have difficulty with this concept because we're a population of consumers, and where some people actually do feel they are living within their means, in the event of an emergency, they have no rainy day fund established.
The average American really does have everything they need in terms of material possessions. Where they falter is building a sense of financial security. Translated, your financial wellness is achieving a state of balance between obtaining those things you want, paying for things you need, and putting something away for tomorrow.
How this affects you in terms of wellness has much to do with stress because when you worry about your finances it leaks into other facets of your life. When we find ourselves in financial trouble, it not only affects the way you live your life but how you interact with others as ell because of the shame associated with it. Unfortunately we live in a society of excess and when we cannot afford a certain lifestyle we feel inferior, either by our own hand or by someone elses', hence the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses.” Simply put, you are not defined by your bank account balance, nor do you need to have the best of the best just because everyone else does. That's your ego dictating your life, not your true self. It's your ego that drives you to do things that in your right, most healthy state of mind, you know you shouldn't.
Some of those things can be:
- You find yourself picking up the check too often when out with your friends
- You purchase items based on peer pressure, rather than your own likes and personal taste
- You spend too much on gifts for others, rarely receiving that generosity in return
Some refer to this as “buying” love or acceptance, and that summation is not far from the truth. Acceptance, love, like, and inclusion all come from within and these are all free of charge. If you must buy your way into any of these, love yourself enough to walk away from these scenarios.
There are also some of us that either, by circumstance or, poor choices in the past, find ourselves in financial dire straits. I myself have experienced this as I am a single parent. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you become diligent in your efforts to pay bills on time, pay off debt and downsizing whenever possible to assure you are living within your means.
Here are some tips for getting you in the road to financial wellness:
1. Know where you stand – Get your credit report and scan it thoroughly for any conflicts. Get this corrected as just a few points on your report could be the difference between you being credit worthy or not. Everyone is entitled to a free copy of their credit report once annually. To get yours, go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com.
2. Just because you make a lot of money doesn't mean you have more to squander. Many people are under the impression if they make a lot of money this rule does not apply to them, however it does and probably moreso than someone who makes less. You should have something to show for your hard work and efforts besides expensive dinners and impulse purchases. Where finances are concerned, responsibility is key. Don't be under the impression that you will always make more. There are thousands of people who felt there would always be more, who found themselves suddenly unemployed. Don't let that be you.
3. Have a plan – Where most people run a foul with their finances is by not having a plan. Respond to those barriers now by discovering what they are. Having a plan does not mean you need to follow it by the letter, it provides you with a basic guideline to follow. If you stray too far from your goals, you will see it much sooner than if you didn't have a plan.
4. Save – Sounds easy enough but it can be quite difficult if you've never been able to before. Find a way, either by creating a financial spreadsheet, setting up your direct deposit to automatically place a certain amount in savings, or even following this plan which, at the end of the year will save you $1,378 (see matrix below).
5. Eliminate excess spending by paring down on expenses wherever possible. Many of us feel that there is just no place to save in our current budgets, but if you make small changes such as incorporating all of your errands into one large trip, rather than making several small ones or trimming a few dollars off of your grocery bill by planning meals before shopping and brown bagging lunch for the workweek, saves hundreds of dollars each year.
Week Eight - Finances
When people think about financial responsibility, people are of the mindset that financial responsibility is about making enough money to pay all of your bills. The reality is that to be financially responsible isn't about making enough money to support your lifestyle, rather being financially responsible with the money you do make and living a lifestyle within your means.
Americans really have difficulty with this concept because we're a population of consumers, and where some people actually do feel they are living within their means, in the event of an emergency, they have no rainy day fund established.
The average American really does have everything they need in terms of material possessions. Where they falter is building a sense of financial security. Translated, your financial wellness is achieving a state of balance between obtaining those things you want, paying for things you need, and putting something away for tomorrow.
How this affects you in terms of wellness has much to do with stress because when you worry about your finances it leaks into other facets of your life. When we find ourselves in financial trouble, it not only affects the way you live your life but how you interact with others as ell because of the shame associated with it. Unfortunately we live in a society of excess and when we cannot afford a certain lifestyle we feel inferior, either by our own hand or by someone elses', hence the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses.” Simply put, you are not defined by your bank account balance, nor do you need to have the best of the best just because everyone else does. That's your ego dictating your life, not your true self. It's your ego that drives you to do things that in your right, most healthy state of mind, you know you shouldn't.
Some of those things can be:
- You find yourself picking up the check too often when out with your friends
- You purchase items based on peer pressure, rather than your own likes and personal taste
- You spend too much on gifts for others, rarely receiving that generosity in return
Some refer to this as “buying” love or acceptance, and that summation is not far from the truth. Acceptance, love, like, and inclusion all come from within and these are all free of charge. If you must buy your way into any of these, love yourself enough to walk away from these scenarios.
There are also some of us that either, by circumstance or, poor choices in the past, find ourselves in financial dire straits. I myself have experienced this as I am a single parent. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you become diligent in your efforts to pay bills on time, pay off debt and downsizing whenever possible to assure you are living within your means.
Here are some tips for getting you in the road to financial wellness:
1. Know where you stand – Get your credit report and scan it thoroughly for any conflicts. Get this corrected as just a few points on your report could be the difference between you being credit worthy or not. Everyone is entitled to a free copy of their credit report once annually. To get yours, go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com.
2. Just because you make a lot of money doesn't mean you have more to squander. Many people are under the impression if they make a lot of money this rule does not apply to them, however it does and probably moreso than someone who makes less. You should have something to show for your hard work and efforts besides expensive dinners and impulse purchases. Where finances are concerned, responsibility is key. Don't be under the impression that you will always make more. There are thousands of people who felt there would always be more, who found themselves suddenly unemployed. Don't let that be you.
3. Have a plan – Where most people run a foul with their finances is by not having a plan. Respond to those barriers now by discovering what they are. Having a plan does not mean you need to follow it by the letter, it provides you with a basic guideline to follow. If you stray too far from your goals, you will see it much sooner than if you didn't have a plan.
4. Save – Sounds easy enough but it can be quite difficult if you've never been able to before. Find a way, either by creating a financial spreadsheet, setting up your direct deposit to automatically place a certain amount in savings, or even following this plan which, at the end of the year will save you $1,378 (see matrix below).
5. Eliminate excess spending by paring down on expenses wherever possible. Many of us feel that there is just no place to save in our current budgets, but if you make small changes such as incorporating all of your errands into one large trip, rather than making several small ones or trimming a few dollars off of your grocery bill by planning meals before shopping and brown bagging lunch for the workweek, saves hundreds of dollars each year.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Seven - Relationships
This week is all about relationships. Whether you have a significant other or not, each of us happen to be in several relationships at once. You have relationships with your family, friends and yes, your significant other as well.
Sometimes juggling all of the relationships in our life can be a daunting task, especially when some of these relationships are not as healthy as they could be. The condition of your relationships affects your state of wellness because when your relationships cause you stress or anger, your wellness is adversely affected. By the same token, it is actually a medical fact that when your relationships are happy and healthy, your wellness quotient multiplies!
The cornerstone to all relationships are basically the same, communication, respect, honest and although you may not agree, a common purpose is also an important element in a healthy relationship. In your workplace, the common purpose is being part of a team who is there to participate in the company's success. With your family the common purpose is the well being of your family, both individually and collectively.
There should also be a common purpose shared in your friendships as well. This is often where people flounder because we seemingly go through our lives collecting friends, yet we never think of severing those friendships that no longer work for us and the path in life we've chosen. However, as we mature and evolve both spiritually and emotionally, we realize that although we all do experience growth on our own timeline, often, those timelines never jive with our own. Further, they can sometimes serve to divert our own journeys in the process. This is when we must ask ourselves, “how does this person fit into my life?” If you cannot come up with that reason, then you may just be at a point in your life to reevaluate those you call your friends. Personally, I call this 'cleaning house'. You could say this is a clearing out the clutter in terms of those people who cause drama, steal your time and keep you from what you really desire in your life. In any case, this step is not always easy, but can be quite liberating.
Sometimes this tends to occur in our love relationships as well, and because we are so invested in so many ways, it's often difficult to decide what to do. As our relationships develop, often times that one person we select to spend the rest of our lives with is often the relationship we need to work on most. This often occurs because it becomes natural to take for granted those people we are closest to. We imagine they will always be there so we focus on other things that may be much less important, in exchange for a quick fix to our own egos, then wonder why we are seemingly living with a stranger after seasons of neglect.
This unfortunate circumstance creeps into our relationships because we can no longer find the common purpose, that one thing that brought us together in the first place. To get back to that place, take these into consideration:
A large facet of life is growth. If you and your partner have made a commitment to stay together for the long haul, communication is key to choosing the path to grow together versus taking on the role that you are on this journey all alone. There is no doubt that each of us have our individual paths and goals in life we need to work on autonomously, but making sure you check in with one another and support each other in accomplishing those things makes your relationship much more successful.
Respect is the most important facet of each and every relationship you will ever have. Treat others with respect, whether or not you agree with their opinions, ideas and/or actions. You can agree to disagree, but always show respect for those in your life.
Forgiveness is probably the most misunderstood facet in the relationships we have. Forgiveness isn't about groveling and apologizing until you're blue in the face, so someone will forgive you. Forgiveness is letting go of the anger, disappointments and anguish you experienced over something hurtful in your life so you are able to move forward learning whatever lesson was needed and bringing that into your next experiences. Forgiving someone for any pain they have caused is not letting anyone off the hook besides yourself.
Forgiveness also does not mean that person has earned a spot back into your life after breaking a trust or dishonoring your relationship. The people that come into your life have earned their way into a relationship with you, and they can also earn their way out of one as well. Do not hesitate to close the door to toxic relationships that have earned their way out.
Week Seven - Relationships
This week is all about relationships. Whether you have a significant other or not, each of us happen to be in several relationships at once. You have relationships with your family, friends and yes, your significant other as well.
Sometimes juggling all of the relationships in our life can be a daunting task, especially when some of these relationships are not as healthy as they could be. The condition of your relationships affects your state of wellness because when your relationships cause you stress or anger, your wellness is adversely affected. By the same token, it is actually a medical fact that when your relationships are happy and healthy, your wellness quotient multiplies!
The cornerstone to all relationships are basically the same, communication, respect, honest and although you may not agree, a common purpose is also an important element in a healthy relationship. In your workplace, the common purpose is being part of a team who is there to participate in the company's success. With your family the common purpose is the well being of your family, both individually and collectively.
There should also be a common purpose shared in your friendships as well. This is often where people flounder because we seemingly go through our lives collecting friends, yet we never think of severing those friendships that no longer work for us and the path in life we've chosen. However, as we mature and evolve both spiritually and emotionally, we realize that although we all do experience growth on our own timeline, often, those timelines never jive with our own. Further, they can sometimes serve to divert our own journeys in the process. This is when we must ask ourselves, “how does this person fit into my life?” If you cannot come up with that reason, then you may just be at a point in your life to reevaluate those you call your friends. Personally, I call this 'cleaning house'. You could say this is a clearing out the clutter in terms of those people who cause drama, steal your time and keep you from what you really desire in your life. In any case, this step is not always easy, but can be quite liberating.
Sometimes this tends to occur in our love relationships as well, and because we are so invested in so many ways, it's often difficult to decide what to do. As our relationships develop, often times that one person we select to spend the rest of our lives with is often the relationship we need to work on most. This often occurs because it becomes natural to take for granted those people we are closest to. We imagine they will always be there so we focus on other things that may be much less important, in exchange for a quick fix to our own egos, then wonder why we are seemingly living with a stranger after seasons of neglect.
This unfortunate circumstance creeps into our relationships because we can no longer find the common purpose, that one thing that brought us together in the first place. To get back to that place, take these into consideration:
A large facet of life is growth. If you and your partner have made a commitment to stay together for the long haul, communication is key to choosing the path to grow together versus taking on the role that you are on this journey all alone. There is no doubt that each of us have our individual paths and goals in life we need to work on autonomously, but making sure you check in with one another and support each other in accomplishing those things makes your relationship much more successful.
Respect is the most important facet of each and every relationship you will ever have. Treat others with respect, whether or not you agree with their opinions, ideas and/or actions. You can agree to disagree, but always show respect for those in your life.
Forgiveness is probably the most misunderstood facet in the relationships we have. Forgiveness isn't about groveling and apologizing until you're blue in the face, so someone will forgive you. Forgiveness is letting go of the anger, disappointments and anguish you experienced over something hurtful in your life so you are able to move forward learning whatever lesson was needed and bringing that into your next experiences. Forgiving someone for any pain they have caused is not letting anyone off the hook besides yourself.
Forgiveness also does not mean that person has earned a spot back into your life after breaking a trust or dishonoring your relationship. The people that come into your life have earned their way into a relationship with you, and they can also earn their way out of one as well. Do not hesitate to close the door to toxic relationships that have earned their way out.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Six - The Law of Attraction and Gratitude
Several years ago, a trend began with the release of “The Secret” a book and a film which speaks to the law of attraction. In short, “The Secret” claims that if you ask, you shall receive. That sounds easy enough, and I do not want to negate the important message "The Secret" attemps to convey, because they should be credited with spreading the message of what the power of positive thinking can do.
Because of “The Secret” and the many articles, interviews and books that followed, we collectively understand that what we think, we attract. In short, our words become thoughts and our thoughts become our reality. With that understanding, we quickly rushed to create our dreamboards in a frenzy, then wondered why it is “The Secret” never worked for us.
This week I chose the Law of Attraction and Gratitude as these two topics really go hand in hand with one another. You cannot have one without the other, and you cannot obtain either one of these without doing some work. Again, I wanted to place this toward the beginning of the 20 Weeks because I want you to be prepared for all the benefits you will receive from this series, but also it would be great if you used this week just focusing on what you would like to manifest in your life, and in return give thanks for all you have accomplished and received, to position yourself for even more.
Understand that this isn’t to be done for the sole purpose of getting something. Your attitude and sincerity have everything to do with all you will receive in your life. Remember that everything is energy. Everything carries with it it’s own vibration and there is no room for insincerity in the universe, so be sincere with your desires, but also when giving thanks!
This is where last weeks topic comes into your life and decision making process. As you continue to sit in meditation, eventually a clarity will set in and you will come to realize not only what you want in life but what you don’t want as well. The topic from week three is also a component of this weeks topic because goal setting is definitely a primary component in the of attraction.
For me, the best way to discover exactly what it is you would like to attract in your life is to simply start writing! List all of the things you would like to accomplish in life and those things that you truly want. If you are honest with yourself, these are not things such as you want to be rich and famous. Let’s face it, most of us have more realistic goals, like a certain salary they would like to make, a nice, reliable car, a home in a good neighborhood, etc. Now think about those things in life that you truly want and list those. Again, be sincere with your list, a close group of friends, a loving partner, a fabulous relationship. These are more in the category of tangibles.
Intent
Most good things do not happen without intent. This is where ou become the “architect” to your life, by making choices and releasing these dreams out into the universe. Fueled with positive energy and your hard work, you will not only attract, but earn those things which you desire. Many people do like to illustrate their desires with a dreamboard. You can cut pictures or phrases or words that charge you and paste them onto this board. If you do this you will want to place this somewhere you can see this. As visualization is an important facet of attracting what you want, this is a great way to demonstrate intent.
For some individuals, the dreamboard approach isn’t something that suits them. If this is the case with you, I would suggest a journal. Journaling your wants and desires for your life is an excellent way to show intent because a journal to me, is a living, breathing decree of your intentions. A journal becomes recharged with your energy whenever you choose to write something in it, and if words incite action to you, then this is a perfect manner in which to demonstrate your intent.
Action
There are no truer words than the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. This is where the hard work comes in. You can want to your hearts content, create the most impressive dreamboards and string together beautiful words to fill your journal, but without action, all of this is just meaningless. Taking action to bring into your life all that you would like to attract is one of the best life lessons you will learn because knowing the hard work and positive energy you put forth into the universe rewards you with all that you desire and deserve.
Please remember how important it is to be patient and continue to put in the necessary work to make your dreams come true. To truly attract some things in your life may take longer, as you are given what you need when you are truly ready to accept it. Attraction is not always immediate, but keep investing in yourself.
Gratitude
In the meantime, it is very important that you give thanks and show gratitude for what you do have. Be gracious to those around you who have helped you achieve your dreams. Be generous with those who are struggling to have what you have. And, take care of what you do have.
Week Six - The Law of Attraction and Gratitude
Several years ago, a trend began with the release of “The Secret” a book and a film which speaks to the law of attraction. In short, “The Secret” claims that if you ask, you shall receive. That sounds easy enough, and I do not want to negate the important message "The Secret" attemps to convey, because they should be credited with spreading the message of what the power of positive thinking can do.
Because of “The Secret” and the many articles, interviews and books that followed, we collectively understand that what we think, we attract. In short, our words become thoughts and our thoughts become our reality. With that understanding, we quickly rushed to create our dreamboards in a frenzy, then wondered why it is “The Secret” never worked for us.
This week I chose the Law of Attraction and Gratitude as these two topics really go hand in hand with one another. You cannot have one without the other, and you cannot obtain either one of these without doing some work. Again, I wanted to place this toward the beginning of the 20 Weeks because I want you to be prepared for all the benefits you will receive from this series, but also it would be great if you used this week just focusing on what you would like to manifest in your life, and in return give thanks for all you have accomplished and received, to position yourself for even more.
Understand that this isn’t to be done for the sole purpose of getting something. Your attitude and sincerity have everything to do with all you will receive in your life. Remember that everything is energy. Everything carries with it it’s own vibration and there is no room for insincerity in the universe, so be sincere with your desires, but also when giving thanks!
This is where last weeks topic comes into your life and decision making process. As you continue to sit in meditation, eventually a clarity will set in and you will come to realize not only what you want in life but what you don’t want as well. The topic from week three is also a component of this weeks topic because goal setting is definitely a primary component in the of attraction.
For me, the best way to discover exactly what it is you would like to attract in your life is to simply start writing! List all of the things you would like to accomplish in life and those things that you truly want. If you are honest with yourself, these are not things such as you want to be rich and famous. Let’s face it, most of us have more realistic goals, like a certain salary they would like to make, a nice, reliable car, a home in a good neighborhood, etc. Now think about those things in life that you truly want and list those. Again, be sincere with your list, a close group of friends, a loving partner, a fabulous relationship. These are more in the category of tangibles.
Intent
Most good things do not happen without intent. This is where ou become the “architect” to your life, by making choices and releasing these dreams out into the universe. Fueled with positive energy and your hard work, you will not only attract, but earn those things which you desire. Many people do like to illustrate their desires with a dreamboard. You can cut pictures or phrases or words that charge you and paste them onto this board. If you do this you will want to place this somewhere you can see this. As visualization is an important facet of attracting what you want, this is a great way to demonstrate intent.
For some individuals, the dreamboard approach isn’t something that suits them. If this is the case with you, I would suggest a journal. Journaling your wants and desires for your life is an excellent way to show intent because a journal to me, is a living, breathing decree of your intentions. A journal becomes recharged with your energy whenever you choose to write something in it, and if words incite action to you, then this is a perfect manner in which to demonstrate your intent.
Action
There are no truer words than the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. This is where the hard work comes in. You can want to your hearts content, create the most impressive dreamboards and string together beautiful words to fill your journal, but without action, all of this is just meaningless. Taking action to bring into your life all that you would like to attract is one of the best life lessons you will learn because knowing the hard work and positive energy you put forth into the universe rewards you with all that you desire and deserve.
Please remember how important it is to be patient and continue to put in the necessary work to make your dreams come true. To truly attract some things in your life may take longer, as you are given what you need when you are truly ready to accept it. Attraction is not always immediate, but keep investing in yourself.
Gratitude
In the meantime, it is very important that you give thanks and show gratitude for what you do have. Be gracious to those around you who have helped you achieve your dreams. Be generous with those who are struggling to have what you have. And, take care of what you do have.
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Five - Meditation
Last week the focus was on taking one room and creating your sanctuary. A space all your own, free from clutter, negativity and loud noises. This week, I want to introduce something so important and so beneficial to your well being, that you will want to incorporate this into your life from now on.
Often times when people think about meditation, they feel that it has something to do with praying. Meditation is actually the opposite. You are not requesting anything as you are supposed to be silent. Many people are of the opinion that when you pray you are speaking to God, and when you are in meditation, God is speaking to you, and I would like to think this is true because as you make mediation a part of your life, you will definitely open yourself up to receiving messages.
Meditation can definitely be a spiritual practice or experience. For those of you who do not feel that you are very spiritual, then I would say that mediation can be used to relieve stress, to center and align the chakras, and to simply clear the mind. Where last week you cleared your physical space of clutter, this week you are, in essence clearing your mind of clutter. On that note, before we begin, you may want to prepare your space to receive the full benefits of meditation.
Prior to meditating, cleansing your sacred space is a great suggestion. Cleansing simply provides you with a blank canvas, ridding yourself of negative energy, and creating an environment for positive energy to flow. For assistance on cleansings, and the various types, please visit my blog page at http://puravidawellness.weebly.com/blog/category/cleansing.
Next, you want to blance the energy in your space. Stones and crystals are great for doing this. Because crystals are a very personal choice, I would suggest you go to http://www.crystalearthspirit.com/crystal-meanings.htm. This page is comprehensive and will give you a brief description of each crystal and how it can work for you. For example, rose quartz attracts love and amber is a powerful stone for protection. If you are in a loving relationship, one might place these two in your sacred space to attract the positive energy for your love and the protection for your relationship. One might also add a clear quartz crystal because it transmits pure energy and it also absorbs any negativity that might be in your space.
Another method of balancing your space is to add scent. Scents also create an environment and set a mood in which you are able to get into a meditative state. Flower essences are a wonderful way of creating a sense of calm to your sacred space. Again this is subjective and depends on your preferences, but you don't want to select a scent that is too strong or overbearing, nor do you want to select a scent that is artificial, as this is to aid in your ability to meditate. A good suggestion would be lavender, as it creates a soothing atmosphere and aids in relieving stress. This is also a great scent to come home to after a long day at the office.
Lastly, you may want to add items to your space, that not only make it your own, but attract good feelings and positive energy. Some people create an altar in their space and place items on it that they may use as focal points in meditation. This is a quick snapshot of mine:
Week Five - Meditation
Last week the focus was on taking one room and creating your sanctuary. A space all your own, free from clutter, negativity and loud noises. This week, I want to introduce something so important and so beneficial to your well being, that you will want to incorporate this into your life from now on.
Often times when people think about meditation, they feel that it has something to do with praying. Meditation is actually the opposite. You are not requesting anything as you are supposed to be silent. Many people are of the opinion that when you pray you are speaking to God, and when you are in meditation, God is speaking to you, and I would like to think this is true because as you make mediation a part of your life, you will definitely open yourself up to receiving messages.
Meditation can definitely be a spiritual practice or experience. For those of you who do not feel that you are very spiritual, then I would say that mediation can be used to relieve stress, to center and align the chakras, and to simply clear the mind. Where last week you cleared your physical space of clutter, this week you are, in essence clearing your mind of clutter. On that note, before we begin, you may want to prepare your space to receive the full benefits of meditation.
Prior to meditating, cleansing your sacred space is a great suggestion. Cleansing simply provides you with a blank canvas, ridding yourself of negative energy, and creating an environment for positive energy to flow. For assistance on cleansings, and the various types, please visit my blog page at http://puravidawellness.weebly.com/blog/category/cleansing.
Next, you want to blance the energy in your space. Stones and crystals are great for doing this. Because crystals are a very personal choice, I would suggest you go to http://www.crystalearthspirit.com/crystal-meanings.htm. This page is comprehensive and will give you a brief description of each crystal and how it can work for you. For example, rose quartz attracts love and amber is a powerful stone for protection. If you are in a loving relationship, one might place these two in your sacred space to attract the positive energy for your love and the protection for your relationship. One might also add a clear quartz crystal because it transmits pure energy and it also absorbs any negativity that might be in your space.
Another method of balancing your space is to add scent. Scents also create an environment and set a mood in which you are able to get into a meditative state. Flower essences are a wonderful way of creating a sense of calm to your sacred space. Again this is subjective and depends on your preferences, but you don't want to select a scent that is too strong or overbearing, nor do you want to select a scent that is artificial, as this is to aid in your ability to meditate. A good suggestion would be lavender, as it creates a soothing atmosphere and aids in relieving stress. This is also a great scent to come home to after a long day at the office.
Lastly, you may want to add items to your space, that not only make it your own, but attract good feelings and positive energy. Some people create an altar in their space and place items on it that they may use as focal points in meditation. This is a quick snapshot of mine:
As you can see, I do have various Buddha statues, the Hear no Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil Buddhas, to remind me not to get involved with negativity. There is a bouquet of lavender, candles, various hearts and crystals that speak to me and represent that which I want to attract in my life, such as love and peace, and I have a plant to represent life. My focal point also has the backdrop of a beautiful, tranquil forest. These are the things that speak to me. The items that you select should have just as much reason and purpose. Some things you might choose would be photos, flowers, items from past trips, anything you cherish.
Now, we can meditate...
When you begin this journey, at first it may seem quite unnatural to you. However, it does not take long for this to become second nature. Like all good things, you will come to crave mediation in your life the more you practice because the benefits come quickly.
Although your sacred space does not need to be completely silent, make sure the TV is off, as well as your phone and any noisy appliances. These distractions will only deter you from reaching a meditative state, and I really want you to be able to feel the benefits so you will continue to practice. Soft music would be optimal. Also, your clothing should be comfortable. You don't need to purchase anything special, just wear something that is not binding and allows you to sit unrestricted.
You want to be seated in a comfortable position. Although the lotus position is the most desirable, the focus here is comfort, so use a cushion if you must, but get into a position that you feel most comfortable in and can maintain for the entirety of your meditation. If you have trouble getting down to the floor, or getting up from the floor, then you can also sit in a chair, but make sure it is comfortable.
When you are finally in your comfort zone, close your eyes. It's as simple as that. Close your eyes and sit in the stillness of the sanctuary you created. Thoughts will drift in and out of your mind, but do your best to keep your mind clear and bring yourself back to your center.
Some people prefer not to close their eyes. This is where your altar can come in because you can use the items on your altar for a focal point. However, it's been my experience that you reap the most benefits when you close your eyes, at least in the beginning. As you continue to meditate, not only will you experience a sense of peace within. In time you will also experience a sense of clarity in matters that may have weighed heavily on your mind because in keeping your mind clear, you allow those things that are prevalent to the forefront. For now, be aware of the changes you experience, if any. You may even find it beneficial to write down your feelings after meditating, so you can refer to them later on and see how much you have discovered on your journey.
As you continue to practice meditating you will see that you benefit most when you meditate at the same time each day. Early morning is best, but the timing is entirely up to you and when your schedule allows. In time, you will discover the benefits of meditation and will be able to meditate more easily. You will find yourself meditating on nature walks, lying in bed, and even in the bathtub, and these are all wonderful places because they are places where you feel safe and secure enough to do so.
You should stay in meditation for the amount of time that feels right for you, but I feel that at least 15 minutes is the minimum in the beginning. I say this because your mind will wander and you want to make sure that you do have some time in which you are actually in a meditative state. This time will fluctuate, depending on how this is working for you, but for now try to sit in stillness for 15 minutes.
If you have been following the other topics in this 20 Weeks to Wellness series, I hope you can see how all of these topics fit in with one another. A big lesson to be learned in meditation has to do with mindfulness, really focusing on those things that benefit you. Where weeks one and two focused on diet and exercise, they directly relate to this weeks topic of mediation because you cannot have a healthy body without a healthy mind, and vice-versa, or not for long anyway.
This weeks topic is a big one, so please if you should have any questions, email me at [email protected]. I would be happy to respond to any questions you have and would love to know how your journey is coming along.
Blessings!
Now, we can meditate...
When you begin this journey, at first it may seem quite unnatural to you. However, it does not take long for this to become second nature. Like all good things, you will come to crave mediation in your life the more you practice because the benefits come quickly.
Although your sacred space does not need to be completely silent, make sure the TV is off, as well as your phone and any noisy appliances. These distractions will only deter you from reaching a meditative state, and I really want you to be able to feel the benefits so you will continue to practice. Soft music would be optimal. Also, your clothing should be comfortable. You don't need to purchase anything special, just wear something that is not binding and allows you to sit unrestricted.
You want to be seated in a comfortable position. Although the lotus position is the most desirable, the focus here is comfort, so use a cushion if you must, but get into a position that you feel most comfortable in and can maintain for the entirety of your meditation. If you have trouble getting down to the floor, or getting up from the floor, then you can also sit in a chair, but make sure it is comfortable.
When you are finally in your comfort zone, close your eyes. It's as simple as that. Close your eyes and sit in the stillness of the sanctuary you created. Thoughts will drift in and out of your mind, but do your best to keep your mind clear and bring yourself back to your center.
Some people prefer not to close their eyes. This is where your altar can come in because you can use the items on your altar for a focal point. However, it's been my experience that you reap the most benefits when you close your eyes, at least in the beginning. As you continue to meditate, not only will you experience a sense of peace within. In time you will also experience a sense of clarity in matters that may have weighed heavily on your mind because in keeping your mind clear, you allow those things that are prevalent to the forefront. For now, be aware of the changes you experience, if any. You may even find it beneficial to write down your feelings after meditating, so you can refer to them later on and see how much you have discovered on your journey.
As you continue to practice meditating you will see that you benefit most when you meditate at the same time each day. Early morning is best, but the timing is entirely up to you and when your schedule allows. In time, you will discover the benefits of meditation and will be able to meditate more easily. You will find yourself meditating on nature walks, lying in bed, and even in the bathtub, and these are all wonderful places because they are places where you feel safe and secure enough to do so.
You should stay in meditation for the amount of time that feels right for you, but I feel that at least 15 minutes is the minimum in the beginning. I say this because your mind will wander and you want to make sure that you do have some time in which you are actually in a meditative state. This time will fluctuate, depending on how this is working for you, but for now try to sit in stillness for 15 minutes.
If you have been following the other topics in this 20 Weeks to Wellness series, I hope you can see how all of these topics fit in with one another. A big lesson to be learned in meditation has to do with mindfulness, really focusing on those things that benefit you. Where weeks one and two focused on diet and exercise, they directly relate to this weeks topic of mediation because you cannot have a healthy body without a healthy mind, and vice-versa, or not for long anyway.
This weeks topic is a big one, so please if you should have any questions, email me at [email protected]. I would be happy to respond to any questions you have and would love to know how your journey is coming along.
Blessings!
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Four - Creating your Sanctuary
Someone once said “your home is your sanctuary.” However, if you take a look around your place, the closets, cabinets, your kids room (if you have children), it might closely resemble a place of chaos more than a warm, inviting place that allows you to nurture yourself and loved ones. Sanctuary, by definition, is a sacred place, or safe haven. This is what every home should be, but sadly is not. With the hustle of daily life, working additional hours, and attempting to carve out a little “me” time, often times, the home is neglected as we give our energy into maintaining our outward lives, but do not realize the importance of maintaining our sanctuary.
Believe it or not, you behave differently in a cleaner, more organized space. You are happier, more creative and sleep better in a room free of clutter because you are allowing energy to flow through your space in a positive way. When your home is cluttered, closets unorganized with clothes on the floor and things stuffed under your bed, the flow of energy is blocked. How does this affect you? By blocking the flow of energy, you block creativity and your ability to attract things that you may want, such as more money, a new love or the ability to change something in your life that no longer serves you. In other words, you are stuck.
I chose Sanctuary as the focus for the fourth week because I don't want you to be stuck! Moreso, if your chi, or positive energy isn't allowed to flow freely, it is much more difficult to change and to accept all of this new positive energy you are creating in your life by participating in this wellness exercise. If you are doing these weekly exercises, I want you to benefit from them as much as possible. Creating and maintaining your sacred space will allow you to accept all of these gifts you are about to receive.
Although your sanctuary refers to your entire living space, or home/apartment, because of time constraints and the fact that I have no idea of the work involved to transform your entire space, this week we will focus on one particular space in your home that you will make your sanctuary. This will also be the space that you will do most of your wellness work in, because in weeks to come you will be utilizing this special place. For example, next week is Meditation, so let's begin this weeks' Sanctuary.
First of all, you must remove the clutter in your space. Clutter to me is anything that does not need to be in that space. If it serves no purpose, it is clutter. If it does not enhance the décor of the space, it is clutter. If it is broken, you don't use it and won't miss it if it's gone, then it's clutter. Eventually, you will want to do this to your entire home, but for now, this will do.
Once your space is clean and clutter-free, you want to take a look around and see if what's in the room represents you. Do the pictures hanging on the wall make you happy? If there are photos of people on your shelves, are they people you love and feel close to, or just random group photos? What I'd like you to strive for is to only put items in this space that make you feel good or carry positive energy. In coming weeks I will focus on the topic of Feng Shui, and how this placement of your items can change the energy flow in your space. For now, in this space we just want to keep things positive.
As we will focus on meditation for week 5, you will want this space to be a clam, quiet space. Think about color and lighting and how these evoke your senses. Add cushions, candles, music and try burning incense to cleanse your space. Sandalwood is great choice for this! But again, this is your space, and you should select scents that you enjoy.
Also, to attract and keep positive energy in your space, use crystals, place sacred books, such as the Bible, Bhagavad Gita or whatever book that speaks to you, and any other items that bring you a sense of tranquility. For more information on crystals, please go to http://www.crystalearthspirit.com/crystal-meanings.htm. This is a comprehensive guide that can provide a quick lesson, if you are interested.
Things to remember about your sanctuary:
1. Never enter your sanctuary in anger. Remember not to bring negative energy into your space.
2. Keep it clean – Don't clean it only for this one exercise unless you plan to maintain it, otherwise this won't work for you. Give it a few weeks and you will notice the difference.
3. Visit your sanctuary everyday. If this is not a place you will normally find yourself in, try to spend at least thirty minutes here each day.
Have a Blessed Week and please if you have any questions, contact me at [email protected]. I love hearing from you!
Week Four - Creating your Sanctuary
Someone once said “your home is your sanctuary.” However, if you take a look around your place, the closets, cabinets, your kids room (if you have children), it might closely resemble a place of chaos more than a warm, inviting place that allows you to nurture yourself and loved ones. Sanctuary, by definition, is a sacred place, or safe haven. This is what every home should be, but sadly is not. With the hustle of daily life, working additional hours, and attempting to carve out a little “me” time, often times, the home is neglected as we give our energy into maintaining our outward lives, but do not realize the importance of maintaining our sanctuary.
Believe it or not, you behave differently in a cleaner, more organized space. You are happier, more creative and sleep better in a room free of clutter because you are allowing energy to flow through your space in a positive way. When your home is cluttered, closets unorganized with clothes on the floor and things stuffed under your bed, the flow of energy is blocked. How does this affect you? By blocking the flow of energy, you block creativity and your ability to attract things that you may want, such as more money, a new love or the ability to change something in your life that no longer serves you. In other words, you are stuck.
I chose Sanctuary as the focus for the fourth week because I don't want you to be stuck! Moreso, if your chi, or positive energy isn't allowed to flow freely, it is much more difficult to change and to accept all of this new positive energy you are creating in your life by participating in this wellness exercise. If you are doing these weekly exercises, I want you to benefit from them as much as possible. Creating and maintaining your sacred space will allow you to accept all of these gifts you are about to receive.
Although your sanctuary refers to your entire living space, or home/apartment, because of time constraints and the fact that I have no idea of the work involved to transform your entire space, this week we will focus on one particular space in your home that you will make your sanctuary. This will also be the space that you will do most of your wellness work in, because in weeks to come you will be utilizing this special place. For example, next week is Meditation, so let's begin this weeks' Sanctuary.
First of all, you must remove the clutter in your space. Clutter to me is anything that does not need to be in that space. If it serves no purpose, it is clutter. If it does not enhance the décor of the space, it is clutter. If it is broken, you don't use it and won't miss it if it's gone, then it's clutter. Eventually, you will want to do this to your entire home, but for now, this will do.
Once your space is clean and clutter-free, you want to take a look around and see if what's in the room represents you. Do the pictures hanging on the wall make you happy? If there are photos of people on your shelves, are they people you love and feel close to, or just random group photos? What I'd like you to strive for is to only put items in this space that make you feel good or carry positive energy. In coming weeks I will focus on the topic of Feng Shui, and how this placement of your items can change the energy flow in your space. For now, in this space we just want to keep things positive.
As we will focus on meditation for week 5, you will want this space to be a clam, quiet space. Think about color and lighting and how these evoke your senses. Add cushions, candles, music and try burning incense to cleanse your space. Sandalwood is great choice for this! But again, this is your space, and you should select scents that you enjoy.
Also, to attract and keep positive energy in your space, use crystals, place sacred books, such as the Bible, Bhagavad Gita or whatever book that speaks to you, and any other items that bring you a sense of tranquility. For more information on crystals, please go to http://www.crystalearthspirit.com/crystal-meanings.htm. This is a comprehensive guide that can provide a quick lesson, if you are interested.
Things to remember about your sanctuary:
1. Never enter your sanctuary in anger. Remember not to bring negative energy into your space.
2. Keep it clean – Don't clean it only for this one exercise unless you plan to maintain it, otherwise this won't work for you. Give it a few weeks and you will notice the difference.
3. Visit your sanctuary everyday. If this is not a place you will normally find yourself in, try to spend at least thirty minutes here each day.
Have a Blessed Week and please if you have any questions, contact me at [email protected]. I love hearing from you!
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Three – Goals
When I first began to put this program together, I knew goals needed to be included within the first few weeks, because in essence, this program is really about one goal; to achieve Wellness. With that in mind, and two major wellness topics under our belts, I would like to introduce you to Week Three, Goals.
Goals are a part of each and every one of our lives. They give us something to work for, and once attained, build the self-confidence to set more goals, knowing that we have what it takes to attain those as well. Goals give us the opportunity to challenge ourselves, and reach heights that perhaps we never thought possible because when we originally set those goals, often times the end result seems so far away.
Goals are an important component to achieving wellness because they affect every facet of our lives. Whether we would like to shed a few pounds, get into better shape, obtain a degree or find a more lucrative position in work, much of what we accomplish in life has to do with setting goals. Setting goals and putting the work into attaining them puts you in the position to actually achieve success in those things, personal or professional, that you would like to accomplish in life, as they are a barometer for measuring your success.
Most goals will fit into two categories, short term or long term. The best thing to do when discovering what your goals are is to figure out which category yours fit into. You should have goals in both categories. For example, if you would like to become a therapist, but have not yet earned your Bachelors degree, your goals would be to first earn your Bachelors, decide where your passion for therapy lies, then pursue a Graduate degree with that emphasis. Further, you would set goals to obtain your licenses and other certifications needed, but you get the idea. For shorter goals, such as finding a new job, your goals would be more along the lines of figuring out what companies you would like to work for and then applying, or calling to introduce yourself and inquiring if you could meet with someone. You could set the goal of contacting five companies per week until you find your new job. You can even set a goal of finding a new job within a month's time and do what is necessary to accomplish it within that time frame.
For week three, it's time to set some goals for ourselves. Let's begin with five short-term goals and three long-term goals. Please feel free to share them with me or share them here on this site with others, but whatever you do, write them down. Although I cannot list your goals for you, here are a few of my own:
Short-Term Goals
Get into better shape
Run four times per week
Get a new job in a company that I actually want to work for
Write a new recipe each week
Save Money (vacation, car, etc)
Long-Term Goals
Change careers (continue education)
Maintain good health and wellness for life
Save Money (Spain, moving in 2016)
As you can see, these seem simple enough, but they are my goals and I know that some of these have been difficult to accomplish as of late, so by writing them down, I can see what I in essence, have promised myself to do. You'll notice that in both categories, short and long-term, I have save money. I have a short-term goal of saving money for the vacation I'm taking this year to Mexico, however, I am also planning to go to Spain next year and since that is going to be significantly more expensive, I also need to put some money away for that.
When setting goals for yourself, remember to use the SMART formula.
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Relevant
T – Time
I know this formula sounds easy enough, but to review, you want to be Specific about the goals you set. For example, rather than write down, you want to lose weight, state how many pounds you would like to lose. Measurable is an important component of goal setting because you don't want to short-change yourself. If we use the same example, losing weight, the importance of stating how many pounds you want to lose is important so you can see how far you have come, and how much further you have to go. Making sure your goals are Attainable is key in maintaining the motivation needed to achieve them. If we continue to use the goal of losing weight, to simply write down losing 70 pounds would seem unattainable to most of us since it is such a large number. However, if you set losing 70 pounds as a long-term goal and break up that number in smaller increments, such as ten pounds per month, for seven months, those are short-term goals that you will be able to accomplish. Making sure your goals are Relevant are important for you because if they are not relevant, then why spend your time and energy in trying to accomplish them? The Time element is something that you will want to refer back to on occasion to assure you are on track. If you set the goal of losing ten pounds per month, and you are two weeks in and have not lost a pound, then referring back to your timeline should provide you with some motivation to get back on track.
One last thing, remember when setting goals, these do not need to be all about you. Self-Improvement is a beautiful thing, but setting goals to volunteer your time, to give to a cause that can benefit from having you a part of it, or even assisting someone in accomplishing their goals is a worthy goal of your own, and believe it or not, helping others is improving yourself. You can set a goal of going through your closet and donating to a woman's shelter or bringing some canned food items to your local food pantry once a month. If writing these items down will actually assist you in doing them, then I suggest you incorporate these into your goals.
Again, if you have any questions, please contact me at [email protected]. I would love to hear from you!
Have a blessed week!
Week Three – Goals
When I first began to put this program together, I knew goals needed to be included within the first few weeks, because in essence, this program is really about one goal; to achieve Wellness. With that in mind, and two major wellness topics under our belts, I would like to introduce you to Week Three, Goals.
Goals are a part of each and every one of our lives. They give us something to work for, and once attained, build the self-confidence to set more goals, knowing that we have what it takes to attain those as well. Goals give us the opportunity to challenge ourselves, and reach heights that perhaps we never thought possible because when we originally set those goals, often times the end result seems so far away.
Goals are an important component to achieving wellness because they affect every facet of our lives. Whether we would like to shed a few pounds, get into better shape, obtain a degree or find a more lucrative position in work, much of what we accomplish in life has to do with setting goals. Setting goals and putting the work into attaining them puts you in the position to actually achieve success in those things, personal or professional, that you would like to accomplish in life, as they are a barometer for measuring your success.
Most goals will fit into two categories, short term or long term. The best thing to do when discovering what your goals are is to figure out which category yours fit into. You should have goals in both categories. For example, if you would like to become a therapist, but have not yet earned your Bachelors degree, your goals would be to first earn your Bachelors, decide where your passion for therapy lies, then pursue a Graduate degree with that emphasis. Further, you would set goals to obtain your licenses and other certifications needed, but you get the idea. For shorter goals, such as finding a new job, your goals would be more along the lines of figuring out what companies you would like to work for and then applying, or calling to introduce yourself and inquiring if you could meet with someone. You could set the goal of contacting five companies per week until you find your new job. You can even set a goal of finding a new job within a month's time and do what is necessary to accomplish it within that time frame.
For week three, it's time to set some goals for ourselves. Let's begin with five short-term goals and three long-term goals. Please feel free to share them with me or share them here on this site with others, but whatever you do, write them down. Although I cannot list your goals for you, here are a few of my own:
Short-Term Goals
Get into better shape
Run four times per week
Get a new job in a company that I actually want to work for
Write a new recipe each week
Save Money (vacation, car, etc)
Long-Term Goals
Change careers (continue education)
Maintain good health and wellness for life
Save Money (Spain, moving in 2016)
As you can see, these seem simple enough, but they are my goals and I know that some of these have been difficult to accomplish as of late, so by writing them down, I can see what I in essence, have promised myself to do. You'll notice that in both categories, short and long-term, I have save money. I have a short-term goal of saving money for the vacation I'm taking this year to Mexico, however, I am also planning to go to Spain next year and since that is going to be significantly more expensive, I also need to put some money away for that.
When setting goals for yourself, remember to use the SMART formula.
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Relevant
T – Time
I know this formula sounds easy enough, but to review, you want to be Specific about the goals you set. For example, rather than write down, you want to lose weight, state how many pounds you would like to lose. Measurable is an important component of goal setting because you don't want to short-change yourself. If we use the same example, losing weight, the importance of stating how many pounds you want to lose is important so you can see how far you have come, and how much further you have to go. Making sure your goals are Attainable is key in maintaining the motivation needed to achieve them. If we continue to use the goal of losing weight, to simply write down losing 70 pounds would seem unattainable to most of us since it is such a large number. However, if you set losing 70 pounds as a long-term goal and break up that number in smaller increments, such as ten pounds per month, for seven months, those are short-term goals that you will be able to accomplish. Making sure your goals are Relevant are important for you because if they are not relevant, then why spend your time and energy in trying to accomplish them? The Time element is something that you will want to refer back to on occasion to assure you are on track. If you set the goal of losing ten pounds per month, and you are two weeks in and have not lost a pound, then referring back to your timeline should provide you with some motivation to get back on track.
One last thing, remember when setting goals, these do not need to be all about you. Self-Improvement is a beautiful thing, but setting goals to volunteer your time, to give to a cause that can benefit from having you a part of it, or even assisting someone in accomplishing their goals is a worthy goal of your own, and believe it or not, helping others is improving yourself. You can set a goal of going through your closet and donating to a woman's shelter or bringing some canned food items to your local food pantry once a month. If writing these items down will actually assist you in doing them, then I suggest you incorporate these into your goals.
Again, if you have any questions, please contact me at [email protected]. I would love to hear from you!
Have a blessed week!
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week Two - Physical Fitness
As we approach the upcoming weeks, the next 19 to be exact, you will see how each topic is connected to one another as they directly affect you. If you are unsure of what wellness entails, please stick around because I promise this will all come together as you complete each week. However, if you would like to discuss this more in depth, please, please, please feel free to email me privately or share on this site. More than anything, I would love from us to learn from one another!
Where week one began with what you feed your body, week two is all about moving that body while you are still continuing to fuel it properly. Don't forget you are to continue your week one as you incorporate week two into your day as well. In this program, those weeks where you are asked to make changes, should be continued throughout the entirety of the program. This gives you the best chance of actually incorporating them into your life, and deriving the best outcomes for yourself. This means, that next week, when you read what week three consists of, you will still be practicing what you have learned in both week one and week two, and so on, until the end of the program in which you will hopefully have found your path to continuing wellness.
Moving your body each day by doing some sort of exercise provides you with numerous benefits. These top the list:
Increased Mobility
Improved Circulation
Body Toning
Stress Reduction
Self-Confidence
The guideline for this week is simple, do something to get some exercise. If you're unsure about what you would like to do, then I suggest walking. Walking is low impact and something almost everyone can do. Those would walk often sustain less injuries, so this also makes it a desirable method of exercise, especially for those who have led sedentary lifestyles before this. Actually, if you have been living a sedentary lifestyle, meaning you have not exercised in some time, you should go see your doctor to make sure that you are in good enough health to begin.
If you currently exercise that's great! If you have the time and the energy, try adding an additional fifteen minutes to your current regimen. If not, then please make sure you do some sort of exercise, for at least ½ hour, five times per week. Remember, getting physical is not a sentence for bad behavior, everyone, regardless of the shape they are currently in can benefit from exercise. The key to sticking with anything is to enjoy doing whatever it is you choose. If you want to walk, then change your environment whenever possible. Go on light hikes on the weekends and to various parks in your neighborhood on alternating days. If you enjoy the water, then join a gym that has a pool and do water aerobics and mix it up with swimming laps on other days. Go play tennis with a friend and if you're not a great tennis player, do what I do and just try to get a volley going and don't keep score. There are endless opportunities to go out and get your body moving. You just need to choose one and get moving!
So, now that you have your week two activity, I want to see how you're doing with week one. If anyone is having difficulties with week one, please message me or post it online. One tip that I can give you for week one that has really been working for me is to keep a journal of all the food that you eat. If you feel that you are watching what you eat and you don't feel any changes, writing down everything you eat, every snack, every morsel of food that goes into your mouth, will put things in perspective for you. You will be surprised about how many calories you consume that seem irrelevant.
Have a great Week Two!
Week Two - Physical Fitness
As we approach the upcoming weeks, the next 19 to be exact, you will see how each topic is connected to one another as they directly affect you. If you are unsure of what wellness entails, please stick around because I promise this will all come together as you complete each week. However, if you would like to discuss this more in depth, please, please, please feel free to email me privately or share on this site. More than anything, I would love from us to learn from one another!
Where week one began with what you feed your body, week two is all about moving that body while you are still continuing to fuel it properly. Don't forget you are to continue your week one as you incorporate week two into your day as well. In this program, those weeks where you are asked to make changes, should be continued throughout the entirety of the program. This gives you the best chance of actually incorporating them into your life, and deriving the best outcomes for yourself. This means, that next week, when you read what week three consists of, you will still be practicing what you have learned in both week one and week two, and so on, until the end of the program in which you will hopefully have found your path to continuing wellness.
Moving your body each day by doing some sort of exercise provides you with numerous benefits. These top the list:
Increased Mobility
Improved Circulation
Body Toning
Stress Reduction
Self-Confidence
The guideline for this week is simple, do something to get some exercise. If you're unsure about what you would like to do, then I suggest walking. Walking is low impact and something almost everyone can do. Those would walk often sustain less injuries, so this also makes it a desirable method of exercise, especially for those who have led sedentary lifestyles before this. Actually, if you have been living a sedentary lifestyle, meaning you have not exercised in some time, you should go see your doctor to make sure that you are in good enough health to begin.
If you currently exercise that's great! If you have the time and the energy, try adding an additional fifteen minutes to your current regimen. If not, then please make sure you do some sort of exercise, for at least ½ hour, five times per week. Remember, getting physical is not a sentence for bad behavior, everyone, regardless of the shape they are currently in can benefit from exercise. The key to sticking with anything is to enjoy doing whatever it is you choose. If you want to walk, then change your environment whenever possible. Go on light hikes on the weekends and to various parks in your neighborhood on alternating days. If you enjoy the water, then join a gym that has a pool and do water aerobics and mix it up with swimming laps on other days. Go play tennis with a friend and if you're not a great tennis player, do what I do and just try to get a volley going and don't keep score. There are endless opportunities to go out and get your body moving. You just need to choose one and get moving!
So, now that you have your week two activity, I want to see how you're doing with week one. If anyone is having difficulties with week one, please message me or post it online. One tip that I can give you for week one that has really been working for me is to keep a journal of all the food that you eat. If you feel that you are watching what you eat and you don't feel any changes, writing down everything you eat, every snack, every morsel of food that goes into your mouth, will put things in perspective for you. You will be surprised about how many calories you consume that seem irrelevant.
Have a great Week Two!
20 Weeks to Wellness
Week One - Fueling your Body
Week One may seem obvious enough, but in all honesty this is the one thing you can change quickly from now until forever without an extreme effort. Beginning today, remove all food from your diet that is not benefiting your health.
For Week One, and for the duration of this 20 Weeks to Wellness Program, be mindful of all you consume and select only goods that promote better nutrition. Opt for brown rice, whole grain breads and whole wheat pasta over white bread and processed foods. Shop the parameter of our supermarket where the freshest foods are, rather tan the aisles within which often offer high calorie, high fat foods, full of sugar and preservatives. For the next 20 weeks, for as much as you can remember, do not drink soda. No soda, not diet, low calorie, or caffeine free, none.
To complete this first week of the 20 Weeks to Wellness, here are 10 things to help you get through your first seven days.
1. Clear your kitchen of foods that no longer serve you by donating them to a friend, a family or agency that can use them.
2. Rather than go shopping with an idea of what you want to get, be proactive. You will be surprised how much money you'll save, as well as empty calories by planning your meals ahead of time. Actually, learning how to do this will benefit you in weeks to come when we focus on finances.
3. It is difficult to stop bad habits that have taken years to acquire, so wean yourself off of them. If you must stop for breakfast before work, change your order. Rather than coffee and a scone, get some green tea and oatmeal. You see, it's not the food that you're craving, it's the routine that you are feeding. These unhealthy rituals are what you need to wean yourself from, so go ahead and order something, but order something healthy.
4. If you get confused about what to eat, there's nothing wrong with eating the same things until you feel comfortable incorporating more healthy items into your diet. For example, a nonfat yogurt and a piece of fruit would be a great breakfast every morning. For lunch, you could have a salad each day, and just change it up by what you choose to put on it. Some days you can add more veggies, like broccoli and cauliflower and other days try incorporating fruits and nuts for crunch.
5. Read labels! There's no better time than now to read labels and learn about the foods you eat. Be on the lookout for high sodium, high fat foods and put them back on the shelf!!!
6. If you don't feel confident enough to make good choices if you're going out to eat, don't go just yet. If you feel temptation will get the best of you, give yourself a little more time to adjust to your new behavior.
7. When you do feel confident and disciplined enough to dine out, one way to make it appear effortless is to get online and study the menu. If you have questions about how something is prepared, call ahead and find out before you go. This way you have a concise idea of what you will order and are less likely to change your mind once you see the menu because you've already seen it.
8. Portion control – Although you can definitely eat larger portions of healthy foods with less guilt, it is still important to practice portion control. Let's face it, there will be times when you indulge, so learning what a healthy portion is and using that as a guideline for all meals, will help you get through the challenging times more easily.
9. Stay positive!!! Many people feel healthy eating equals boring. This is so not true!!! There are thousands of recipes on the internet, all you have to do is search for new ways to prepare the foods that will benefit you most.
10. Get creative – Healthy eating is not a sentence for past bad behavior, it's a lifestyle. Embrace it by using what you already do in preparing your food by getting creative. Use recipes you have and use already by adding vegetables and herbs to replace unhealthy fats. When in doubt, adding color and texture to your foods by incorporating more vegetables is a healthy choice!
BONUS TIP: Each week I will share one of my low(er) calorie recipes with you. Please incorporate these into your diet and let me know what you think!
PLEASE DO NOT "REWARD" YOURSELF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. OF COURSE, YOU CAN HAVE SOMETHING DECADENT ON OCCASION, BUT DON'T USE A WEEK OF GOOD BEHAVIOR AS A REWARD FOR SOMETHING BAD. THIS IS LIKE GIVING AN ALCOHOLIC A DRINK FOR BEING SOBER FOR A LENGTH OF TIME. THIS IS YOUR LIFE, CHERISH IT!
Week One - Fueling your Body
Week One may seem obvious enough, but in all honesty this is the one thing you can change quickly from now until forever without an extreme effort. Beginning today, remove all food from your diet that is not benefiting your health.
For Week One, and for the duration of this 20 Weeks to Wellness Program, be mindful of all you consume and select only goods that promote better nutrition. Opt for brown rice, whole grain breads and whole wheat pasta over white bread and processed foods. Shop the parameter of our supermarket where the freshest foods are, rather tan the aisles within which often offer high calorie, high fat foods, full of sugar and preservatives. For the next 20 weeks, for as much as you can remember, do not drink soda. No soda, not diet, low calorie, or caffeine free, none.
To complete this first week of the 20 Weeks to Wellness, here are 10 things to help you get through your first seven days.
1. Clear your kitchen of foods that no longer serve you by donating them to a friend, a family or agency that can use them.
2. Rather than go shopping with an idea of what you want to get, be proactive. You will be surprised how much money you'll save, as well as empty calories by planning your meals ahead of time. Actually, learning how to do this will benefit you in weeks to come when we focus on finances.
3. It is difficult to stop bad habits that have taken years to acquire, so wean yourself off of them. If you must stop for breakfast before work, change your order. Rather than coffee and a scone, get some green tea and oatmeal. You see, it's not the food that you're craving, it's the routine that you are feeding. These unhealthy rituals are what you need to wean yourself from, so go ahead and order something, but order something healthy.
4. If you get confused about what to eat, there's nothing wrong with eating the same things until you feel comfortable incorporating more healthy items into your diet. For example, a nonfat yogurt and a piece of fruit would be a great breakfast every morning. For lunch, you could have a salad each day, and just change it up by what you choose to put on it. Some days you can add more veggies, like broccoli and cauliflower and other days try incorporating fruits and nuts for crunch.
5. Read labels! There's no better time than now to read labels and learn about the foods you eat. Be on the lookout for high sodium, high fat foods and put them back on the shelf!!!
6. If you don't feel confident enough to make good choices if you're going out to eat, don't go just yet. If you feel temptation will get the best of you, give yourself a little more time to adjust to your new behavior.
7. When you do feel confident and disciplined enough to dine out, one way to make it appear effortless is to get online and study the menu. If you have questions about how something is prepared, call ahead and find out before you go. This way you have a concise idea of what you will order and are less likely to change your mind once you see the menu because you've already seen it.
8. Portion control – Although you can definitely eat larger portions of healthy foods with less guilt, it is still important to practice portion control. Let's face it, there will be times when you indulge, so learning what a healthy portion is and using that as a guideline for all meals, will help you get through the challenging times more easily.
9. Stay positive!!! Many people feel healthy eating equals boring. This is so not true!!! There are thousands of recipes on the internet, all you have to do is search for new ways to prepare the foods that will benefit you most.
10. Get creative – Healthy eating is not a sentence for past bad behavior, it's a lifestyle. Embrace it by using what you already do in preparing your food by getting creative. Use recipes you have and use already by adding vegetables and herbs to replace unhealthy fats. When in doubt, adding color and texture to your foods by incorporating more vegetables is a healthy choice!
BONUS TIP: Each week I will share one of my low(er) calorie recipes with you. Please incorporate these into your diet and let me know what you think!
PLEASE DO NOT "REWARD" YOURSELF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. OF COURSE, YOU CAN HAVE SOMETHING DECADENT ON OCCASION, BUT DON'T USE A WEEK OF GOOD BEHAVIOR AS A REWARD FOR SOMETHING BAD. THIS IS LIKE GIVING AN ALCOHOLIC A DRINK FOR BEING SOBER FOR A LENGTH OF TIME. THIS IS YOUR LIFE, CHERISH IT!